martes, 29 de noviembre de 2016

Vulnerable (Day 154)





Within my previous post I mentioned some words that emerged when exploring the dynamics of developing an effective communication. These words were: Vulnerable, Control, and Trust.

So, in this post I am going to start off with exploring the word Vulnerable.

The dictionary defines the word Vulnerable as the following:

1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

2. (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection, because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

I mentioned that I had approached the word Vulnerable as a synonym of ‘Weak’; meaning, I had charged the word negatively throughout my life, because in seeing someone as being vulnerable I would picture within myself a lotus flower in the water being exposed for anyone to come, grab it and destroy it - and the flower existing in fear in the back of its ‘mind’.

On the one hand; Fear of being destroyed by someone else. And - on the other hand; Hope of being ‘discovered’ by someone that would take care of it in order to support its growth into its utmost potential. Like being in a sort of Russian Roulette game of two options; live or die.

So, in the past, I instead of exposing myself within Fear and Hope = insecurity - I'd rather choose to become hermetic through suppressing my expression, avoiding to place myself in the unknown/uncertain.

Also, there is the influence of the collective dimension in relation to “Being vulnerable in this world is dangerous, because everybody wants to take advantage of you through self-interest”.

But, what I haven’t taken into consideration is the fact that if I support myself in relation to my thoughts, feelings and emotions, as well as releasing energetic charges, and re-define the words that I have accepted in a pre-fabricated format to influence my expression throughout my life, what would be exposed through that vulnerableness as openness, wouldn’t be weakness, but self-trust as the realization that I have the tools to change myself and stop self-abuse so as to walk step by step into self-expansion, especially in the way I express myself in relation to others, which it would become a contribution instead of suppression due to insecurity.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have charged the word Vulnerable negatively, because of the idea and perception that was installed within my mind of “If I want to be strong, I must not be Vulnerable”.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if there exists fear of being vulnerable it’s because of self-judgement existing within myself, because that self-judgment inhibits me from transcending the points that once corrected, will lead me into the developing of an effective way of expressing myself when it comes to my relationship with myself and others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “If I expose myself in front of them, they are going to think I am weird”, without realizing that even the ‘stupid comments’ I make can become support for me and other people once the point opens up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that the people around me will respond to myself in the way I think, which is judgment projection, without realizing that if I don’t try it, there’s no way I can find out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself without even first giving it a try.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I can be both; vulnerable and strong; meaning, I can become stronger as who I am through developing openness in relation to myself in the way I explore and change myself in self-honesty according to what plays out in the physical world by first ‘cleaning’ myself within, so as to be able to clean communication without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being Vulnerable, because I feared being weak in front of others, without seeing, realizing and understanding that the fear was the output of defining myself through an already fabricated definition of the word Vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that words are like clothes; meaning, when clothes are too big or there is something that makes it uncomfortable, you can re-adapt it in order to make fit according to your body size; fitting in what’s real/physical instead of wearing/using the standardized version only because it’s easier and everyone else does.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in changing the definitions of the words in order to support myself into my utmost potential; I am making an impact in my reality, because words create the world, therefore, if I work on re-adjusting the language I live as words, as every single word I am struggling with, I will be making the message of what’s best for all real; one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that that which I fear exposing about myself through being vulnerable is something that I can be glad of sharing about me once I change who I am within; meaning, if I become self-trust, why would I fear exposing self-trust as an unconditional expression of myself?

Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself fearing being seen as weak by others and judging myself as a Vulnerable person that would rather prefer to suppress self-expression so as to present self as strong instead of going into insecurity = fear and hope - I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that actually suppression is weakness, because in exposing myself to myself - by clearing my mind as the words I have defined myself within - I become strong as self-trust.

I commit myself to stop fear being exposed.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that being vulnerable is a synonym of weakness. 

I commit myself to exposing myself to myself through self-writing in order to explore and re-define the words that I have accepted and allowed to determine the way I experience and express myself in this world by accepting the pre-fabricated definition provided by dictionaries, the media, the collective mind, etc.

When and as I see myself fearing to expose myself, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that if I am fearing something it’s because I have to introspect and investigate myself within in order to transform it into potential and thus, in every step within exploring myself, it will become a +1 in the developing of self-trust as who I decide to be beyond any pre-fabricated definition, because I have the tools to transform myself into my utmost potential.

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself.

I commit myself to investigating myself when there’s a point of doubt, fear or insecurity existing within myself in relation to communication.

I commit myself to enhance any point I see is interfering in my expression to create effective communication / relationships with me and others as well.

sábado, 26 de noviembre de 2016

Distrust (Day 153)


Some days ago I was talking with an individual and within the conversation I started kind of ‘showing off’ by saying that people are very easy to be persuaded/manipulated. This person said “I bet you can’t manipulate me” and I said “I already did it lol”.

Then this person said “You know, males are so easy to be cheated/fooled, they do not even realize when women do it”.

After some minutes, we were in a different room and this person’s body language, specifically; facial expression was one of suspicion, so I asked “Why that face? It’s like a suspicious face”. At first this person wasn’t aware of her gestures, because it happened on an unconscious level, so when I asked “Is everything okay?”, they said “yeah”. Then, this person opened up and said that actually they felt insecure in relation to me, like they didn’t know whether to believe/trust in me or not - and in that moment I realized that I had placed a seed on this person's mind; a seed that somehow activated within them a sense of insecurity.

The next day, the same happened to me, where insecurity started emerging within my solar plexus by remembering the statement they said with regards to how easy is for males to be fooled/cheated by females without them even noticing it. So, a similar experience popped up with me, through the memory of this person’s words. Distrust built up within myself and it was an experience within which I remained almost the whole evening. So, every time I noticed an energetic movement within myself, I applied self-forgiveness in order to release the energy and thus, be back here; grounded, stable, and comfortable in my physical body - and it worked, because it helped me calm myself down and be able to enjoy my expression here.

What I realized is that in the very moment we were talking, I didn’t even notice how the words both were sharing were in any way supportive, because at least in my case, it was all energy-based, because I was unwittingly trying to show myself as ‘more’. Like an mind game of polarity; loser / winner.

This person and I are in a process of getting to know each other, so this made realize the importance of the words one share within the process of creating effective relationships. It is very easy to end up participating in conversations where no one takes responsibility for the words being spoken - and beyond that; the consequences our words can create in people’s lives.

It is true that each one is responsible for the way one feel and experience oneself within, but we also have the chance to whether use our words to contribute or attack - it’s up to us. And this is what I realized, that the words spoken were spiteful and harmful.

After that, I noticed that ‘I wasn’t feeling the same’; meaning, I went with thoughts such us “I bet this will not be the same again” - and my expression was actually not being the same and I struggled with it a bit, because I wasn’t fully comfortable as an output of the aforementioned words that were said.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in energy-based conversations where the starting point is feeding ego instead of mutual support in order to create an effective communication and effective relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within energy-based conversations want to present myself as a ‘powerful man’ that can control, manipulate and persuade others - without seeing, realizing and understanding that that’s not actually what I want for me, because that’s not best for me nor best for all, because in manipulating others, I am actually deceiving myself in a mind trap of ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to present myself as a ‘powerful man’, because I fear being seen as vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have charged the word ‘vulnerable’ negatively, as a synonym of ‘weak’ - without seeing, realizing and understanding that being vulnerable can be re-defined in order to be lived as openness - where I don’t fear exposing myself, because I realize that in changing the approach of the word, others - through my vulnerability - could see me as who I am in my expression as one and equal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - through a memory of the words that were said - have activated Distrust within myself by thinking and believing that X is a liar that is going to hurt me - without seeing, realizing and understanding that no one can hurt another person unless oneself accept it and allow it, because we are not talking about physical pain, therefore, it’s an ego-based pain.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the Distrust activated within myself because of the memories of past relationships where people lied to me and then, I went through ‘tough moments’ in my life where I didn’t want to trust anyone anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have projected the past into my present by placing my past experiences onto X by generalizing the fear of being lied irrationally through imagination. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have felt the distrust as insecurity within my solar plexus and then, remaining there until I realized that I have the tools of self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every new human being I am getting to know is a new opportunity to learn from myself and from them and that I can use that opportunity to enhance the skills of both of us through supporting each other in order to become the best version of ourselves and become the change we want to see in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by another person’s words and this - within myself - creating the perception of “This won’t be the same again”, and thus, becoming uncomfortable in my interaction with them, because I perceived the relationship as being ‘fractured’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get distracted from my expression when being shifted into the mind by the experience of distrust when remembering what happened and what could happen next through using memories and future projections through imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that Trust - which is the opposite of Distrust - is something that is achievable through another person - without, seeing, realizing and understanding that the distrust experience within myself is an indicator that shows that there are still some dimensions in relation to self-trust that require direction within myself, because there are subtle moments where by unwittingly participating in energy, I go into separation.

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself speaking based on energy, where I want to present myself as a ‘powerful man’ that can control others, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that in doing that that, I am deceiving myself in an ego trap, plus, it’s within myself where I have to start living the word control as a supportive expression of myself, especially when it comes to the words I want to share, because if I cannot control myself and just rant, then I am becoming only a puppet of ego where I move within and as polarity without being able to really express myself as life.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I notice myself trying to present myself as a ‘powerful man’ that can control others.

I commit myself to stop explore the word control in order to make it a supportive expression of myself instead perpetuating it as a delivery of unaware toxic words as contaminated seeds that are installed in other people’s consciousness.

I commit myself to become more aware of the words I communicate when I talk with other beings.

When and as I see myself going into Distrust because of what was said by another person, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that Distrust was built within myself, therefore, it is my responsibility to address it and correct it, because the only way I can experience Distrust is if it resonates within myself, therefore, it’s me the one who has to explore myself in relation to the dimensions that require direction when it comes to developing self-trust.

I commit myself to continue exploring this point of Distrust and Insecurity, because this is a gift that was presented to me for me to correct myself and thus, become the best version of me.

I commit myself to stop looking for trust in others.

I commit myself to become trust and thus, instead of looking for it, I am the one who contributes with trust as an unconditional expression of myself in every moment.

When and as I see myself feeling Distrust and Insecurity in my solar plexus after an energy-based conversation where a seed of Doubt was installed within my mind system, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that this emotional experience is caused by the past as memories where people cheated on me and lied to me and also, future projection through imagination where I see the new person that came to my world doing the same that people from the past did.

I commit myself to stop projecting the past into my present.

I commit myself to stop projecting into the future through imagination.

I commit myself to approach every new human being with any burden fro the past.

I commit myself to express myself in relation to others, as I would like them to express themselves towards me.

jueves, 24 de noviembre de 2016

Learning from Leaders (Day 152)



This morning I was on the bus going to work and as usual there were lots of passengers. The bus was full and I had to travel standing on my feet which I am used to and it’s not a big deal. The point is that when I got in the bus, I noticed a man that was giving the passengers instructions in order to all be able to fit in. 

I was listening to music with headphones and this man said something I couldn’t hear, so I took out the headphones and asked “what?”, and he suggested me to take out my backpack and hold it with my hand so the backpack was not going to use too much space.

I noticed that when this man talked to me I had this backchats "Is he talking to me? I don't know him. Who does he think he is? Why should I obey?"

At first, I didn’t do what he said and instead moved next to a seat and asked “here it’s fine, right?”. Then, I questioned my reaction to him by realizing that what activated in that moment was superiority and my rebel/stubborn character, where I would make it personal instead of seeing the common sense in this man’s words.


Then, once I realized I had reacted, I started thinking “hang on, this guy is a leader. He is just trying to help”.

It’s interesting how easy one in one moment make things personal and the main point becomes judging, blaming, victimizing, backchatting, because one is misinterpreting everything.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things personal instead of seeing the practicality and the common sense of what is being said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am ‘more than’ the man that was helping the bus driver with the passengers, because within myself I reacted with backchats where I went “I don’t know this man, so he must not even talk to me”, without seeing, realizing and understanding that there’s no need to be like that, because I am not that ‘especial’ or ‘untouchable’ person, plus the main point of what was being said to me was a suggestion and in any way in a rude manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret a suggestion by someone I don’t know as though they were imposing their wants and needs on me, without realizing that if I have previously judged someone or have that premise existing within myself of “if I don’t know you, you can’t talk to me”, I am only becoming absolute, limited and blind, because I am filtering the information through the mind/ego instead of immediately applying what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat towards that man “Does he think he knows? Does he feel powerful by doing this?”, without realizing that in doing that, I was only projecting the shit that exists within myself towards him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what’s best for all and instead, make things personal by activating characters that limit my comprehension and practical application. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason why I judged this man was because within myself I knew he was leading in some way and as leading in my expression still requires some work, I was judging that which I do not have developed within and without.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that many things that I judge from other people are skills that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to polish.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that through judging and activating characters, I am limiting myself from learning and seeing the common sense in other people’s deeds. 

Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself making things personal when someone is making a suggestion, I stop and breathe. I realize that if I am reacting it’s because I am not grounded here, and instead, a character has activated which inhibits me from seeing the common sense and learn.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I start making things personal so as to see the common sense and the practicality of what has been said.

When and as I see myself perceiving myself as this untouchable person that no one can dare to talk to if we don’t know each other, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is ego manifesting, because if I am in a public place, I have to be aware of how I can contribute and make things better for me and everyone involved.

I commit myself to stop perceiving myself as though I am untouchable and that no one can talk to me in order to become more open and thus, be able to live instead of perpetuating pre-programming.

When and as I see myself reacting; thinking and believing that someone is imposing their wants and needs on me in order for me to ‘obey’, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am predisposing myself from a negative approach, instead of seeing, listening, learning, and applying.

I commit myself to stop thinking that when people randomly talk to me to make a suggestion is because they are imposing their ideas on me for me to obey.

I commit myself to first listen and see what I am being told, instead of automatically activating a pattern when someone I don’t know talks to me.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing “they must feel powerful by leading”, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that I am projecting my shit onto them; meaning, I am the one that looks for power by leading, as well as recognition and a sense of superiority, that’s why leading has not become an unconditional part of myself that I live in every moment, otherwise, I would immediately acknowledge when someone is leading and I would contribute and ‘do unto them as I would have them done onto me’.

I commit myself to stop looking for power, superiority and recognition when I am leading through an idea that involves everyone.

I commit myself to be open in relation to those I see leading in order to learn from them and thus, be able to apply and live it within my life.


I commit myself to support those ones that lead, because in doing so I would be applying and living the principle of equality, which means that by the time I am leading, I would like to be supported as well, therefore it’s me the one that must give that step forward first in order to become a living example.  

sábado, 29 de octubre de 2016

When Your Body Language Gives You Away (Day 151)


A few days ago I was talking to X and I was explaining something, then this individual made a question, but as their question was not specific, I asked again in order to provide a clearer answer, but I noticed that this person changed in their behavior, kind of becoming upset and speaking louder while their body language - specifically their facial gestures and hands started making abrupt moves, kind of stressed out.

I have personally seen this existing within myself as well, for instance when one is doing something and suddenly we’re interrupted, but more specifically when the other person seems to not understand our point and one have to repeat the message. 

I notice that when I have to repeat what I already said, I have become in-a-rush-mode so to speak, and as they do not seem to understand what I say, slowly but surely I start noticing how the emotion starts building up within myself, but at the same time trying to control it, although the result is infertile because you end up struggling with your emotions, which is something you can see when focusing on facial gestures and body language. Like, you can tell when someone is not comfortable in their physical bodies.

It’s like “I already explained it and now you are making me do it all again?”, kind of victimizing self, making it personal and thinking that they might even be making fun of us, kind of pushing our buttons or testing us deliberately. 

Also, the other side of the polarity that I have seen goes through backchats like “Are you stupid that you do not understand?” or “Are you deaf?” type of thing. This, creating a sense of ‘superiority’ that comes from the frustration for not being fully understood, like “I explained it already, therefore, if you do not understand, then it’s your problem. Just bounce and leave me alone, otherwise, if I am to repeat myself then I have the right to ‘charge you’ and make you ‘pay me’ through ‘emotional punishment’ where I am going to see you as inferior and treat you as such”.

What I see here is that these polarized reactions work as absolutes; meaning, just positive or negative, black or white, right or wrong, superior or inferior, without even taking the time to sit back and introspect all the dimensions involved within the spectrum and also, how I am supporting myself towards a more effective communication.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become in-a-rush mode when I am asked to repeat myself, wherein I would embody the superior character or the inferior one depending on how I perceive myself and the others around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to perception, without realizing that perception is a judgment, it’s polarity - it does not support life as the physical, because this takes place from a mind’s interpretation, where I already judged myself and/or others and from there, messed it all up and already participated in a character; the embodiment of a persona, instead of seeing the practicality, the solutions and how I can support myself and everyone involved in the conversation if I’d stopped my participation in the mind system and release the energy and so the pattern to become the best version of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to embody the superior and inferior character according to how I have previously judged someone that is talking to me, without realizing that the embodiment of characters is absolute limitation when it comes to communication, because I do not realize that I first have to understand why I am experiencing myself as an emotional experience so as to be able to understand another person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why is it that I become uncomfortable in my physical body, facial gestures and body language when energy starts building up within myself while perceiving that someone is pushing my buttons within communication when I have to repeat myself or clarify information, without realizing that it’s not that the other person is creating the reaction, because they are just asking a question, therefore, it’s only me the one who decides how to approach it; meaning, it’s my responsibility to address my feelings and emotions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have the right to treat someone in a rude manner when they ask me to repeat myself, as though they were stupid and not able to understand what I am saying, without realizing that if I placed myself in their shoes, I honestly wouldn’t like to be treated as such.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to do onto others as I would have them do unto me; meaning, applying the principle of equality as all, as one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe myself to be a victim when I am struggling in energetic movements and its manifestations in the physical when someone is asking me to repeat what I have just already said, as though the one who is asking me something was deliberately making fun of me or pushing my buttons so as to see a reaction in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally within communication, instead of calming myself down, grounding myself here in self-awareness, so as to become aware of who am I accepting and allowing myself to be in that moment, in order to take responsibility and
change that moment of inner conflict into mutual understanding, not only focusing on me, me, me, but also the equal living being that is in front of me interacting with me.

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself becoming uncomfortable within communication when I have to repeat myself, which leads me to then embody characters, such as the inferior, superior, self-victimization, anger, frustration, I stop and breathe. I realize that instead of focusing on the other person in a way of blaming them, I must start off with me first in order to make sure that I am stable within communication, so as to be part of a solution instead of contributing to create more conflict based on ego. 

I commit myself to stop believing and thinking that others are responsible for the way I am experiencing myself.

I commit myself to take responsibility through self-writing when it comes to inner conflicts where I see I am blaming others for the way I feel when they are around or when they talk to me. 

I commit myself to find ways in which I can express myself better, for instance through providing different sorts of examples, also asking questions, such as “Is there anything that you do not understand? Am I missing any points?”.


I commit myself to focus on my breathing and body posture when I notice that energy starts building up within myself, so as to support myself through my physical body and stop the pattern activation that comes next after accepting and allowing myself to participate in the energetic experience. 

sábado, 15 de octubre de 2016

When You Feel Excluded (Day 150)


A couple of minutes ago I got a message on the Whatsapp group my band and I have. The message said “Guys, we will continue playing after not playing for a while”.

Since I am working in a different city, I noticed a reaction within myself; “Do they plan to leave me aside or something?”.

I asked “Really? new members?”. And I was told that a guy that I know will be playing the bass in the band.

A backchat that I had was “Does X think he owns the band that he can make adjustments without first asking the whole band?”. Then I went “But, I am living in a different city. If the guys want to play, they should do it. I wonder who the new singer will be”.

I also noticed that I felt ‘excluded’, kind of Making things Personal. I even thought that they didn’t want to play with me and that now is the perfect moment to start a ‘new band’ without me. Then, all the self-judgments projection “I don’t sing well, if I am in a different city I am an obstacle for them right now”.

I remember that our last gig was in last April and after that, we had the chance to play in other places, but the band was kind of asleep; with no real motivation if you will.

I have now just asked in the Whatsapp group “I have a doubt; am I being considered within this ‘new process’ for the band or should I assume that I am out because I am in a different city?”

One of the guys said “Yes, you are considered. We are still playing”. So I explained my current situation; I told the guys that I will be working here until December, then come back, and after that don’t know yet whether I will continue working here or not, but that I've liked the city so far and that everything will depend on how things unfold in the months to come.

I realize now, that I was assuming that I was out of the band and that created the whole reaction within myself, where I felt excluded, without realizing that I myself was excluding myself by going into my mind and charging that emotional experience with more thoughts and backchats.

So, what I had to do was just ask straight forward and clarify my doubts instead of remaining within my mind and going into a Quantum Spiralling where I lose control; meaning, going more and more into the mind alternate reality.

I remember that I have always been the type of person that don’t ask questions, the person that remains in this misconception of the word ‘reserved’, the person that keeps the doubts and then during the walk clarifies them. But I realize that it’s up to me to change that self-definition. Plus, it does not support me at all. What it does support me is to bring my self-awareness back here as my physical body and start participating within this physical reality that allows me to create and be the creator of my own life expression.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when X said that the band will start playing shows again after being out of track, because I immediately thought that I was being left out and that the message was an attempt to let me know that they were kicking me out of the band.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional experience where after the thought “Do they plan to leave me aside or something?”, I felt excluded, without realizing that I was myself contributing to that experience, because I was suddenly shifted into my mind through thoughts, projections and the activation of many characters that were an obstacle for me to see with physical eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while being shifted into my mind, go into mind scenarios where through my imagination, I was Blaming the guys for doing me such ‘evil’ thing to me, where I realize my self-victimization character was activated, that’s why I started blaming within my mind instead of taking self-responsibility for what was going on through stopping myself and breathing in order to ‘wake up’ from that mind state.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while being in the self-victimization character use phrases such as “I bought a cool guitar, an awesome amp and this is how they will pay me?. They are not placing themselves in my shoes”, without realizing that in that moment I was taking for granted that what I thought was completely and absolutely accurate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I think is real, without realizing that all that emerged within my mind in that moment was personalities, projections, backchats, self-judgments, misinterpretations, etc, where I unconsciously forgot where is me among all those mind systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach this event as “This is also my band”, where I noticed myself referring to the band as though it was something that I possess, that I own, that it’s mine - and thus, I reacted with Jealousy for them being able to continue playing while I am miles away in a different city without being able to play as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that X is evil within themselves and that they enjoyed not being clear about the message in the Whatsapp group at first in order to deliberately make me go into the emotional experience, without realizing that it's impossible for any external factor to affect my inner experiences, because I am the one who accepts and allows self to whether go into the mind or bring myself back here to this physical reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by emotional reactions and all the patterns that activate within myself when feeling ‘rejected’, where I am not able to bring myself back here and instead, assume that what my mind is telling me is real, without realizing that what goes on within my mind is mere programming where I have learned how to feel or how to react when certain events take place in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my reaction to the word ‘excluded’ automatically activates a pattern of going into self-victimization, self-pity, blaming and jealousy, without realizing that I can stop the pattern through immediately taking a deep in breath and an out breath in order to release myself from the energetic experience and become grounded and thus, being able to assist and support myself when communicating with other individuals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have perpetuated the misconception of the word ‘reserved’ where instead of being reserved in a supportive way, I have lived it as a synonym of keeping thoughts, emotions, feelings, doubts and questions to myself instead of assessing them within myself first and then speak them up in order to understand each other, in order for everyone involved within the conversation to be on the same page.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived the word ‘reserved’ as a synonym of the word ‘excluded’, because instead of assisting and supporting myself while being in an energetic experience, I am shifted into the mind system and I myself exclude myself, without realizing that if I do not assess myself and then speak up, everyone else might think that everything is fine, therefore, I might actually end up being excluded, but that being created by myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when feeling excluded go into blaming instead of taking self-responsibility through acknowledging that I am creating my own experience and that everyone else is not to blame, because of course they can become more effective within communication in case I have doubts, but in order to contribute, I have to first assess myself and thus, being able to provide a feedback that can assist and support everyone involved within the conversation as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear and self-judgment when I have a doubt and I want to ask, because I think and believe that people will think that my question is stupid, without seeing, realizing and understanding that “asKING is the King of all QUESTions in the Quest that is Life”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question, because it is easier to remain ignorant instead of becoming aware and taking self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have preferred to remain in doubt as energetic experiences instead of taking self-responsibility for what I am creating within my mind from internal conversations to living words without awareness as a detrimental outcome for me and everyone, which I could have changed if I had stopped my mind before going into the perpetuation of patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my ‘stupid questions’ can become very supportive for me and for others, because we can realize how to become more effective in the way we express ourselves when we communicate; for instance, in becoming more specific.

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself feeling excluded, I stop and breathe. I realize that there is a pattern existing within myself where I take things personally and then, I end up feeding my mind with thoughts, backchats, feelings, emotions, projections, self-victimization, self-pity, and blaming, therefore, the one who is responsible for the emotional experience is me and not them.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I feel excluded in order to bring myself back here and see reality through physical eyes instead of the mind’s eye and thus, be able to contribute with solutions instead of embodying the word ‘reserved’ in a way that does not support me, nor everyone else.

When and as I see myself going into “This is also mine. I own it” when feeling excluded, I stop and breathe. I realize that such statements are being created by me through the mind after accepting and allowing myself to feel ‘diminished’ through how I perceive reality through my thoughts by believing what I think, without realizing that my thoughts are programmed/conditioned and in no way will be accurate in terms of supporting life as the physical as what’s best for all, therefore, if I am to use such phrases it’s because I am trying to compensate the inferiority that was previously activated within myself in an attempt to be switched to the other side of the polarity equation (superiority).

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I want to go “This is mine. I own it too” so as to become more aware of myself and assess the way I am expressing myself, so I can transform that experience into something of support for everyone; starting with myself first through taking self-responsibility for my own mind consciousness system.

When and as I see myself embodying the word ‘reserved’ as this individual who does not say a word, who pretends everything’s fine when it’s actually not, I stop and breathe. I realize that this embodiment does not support me to become the best version of me, because the only thing I end up creating is a ‘wrong’ perception, which starts from myself first towards my external world, and then, simultaneously through the way everyone involved will perceive themselves and me within the conversation.

I commit myself to explore the word ‘reserved’ in order to define it, re-define it, and then, live it in a way that supports me as well as everyone else that is part of the conversation when it comes to communication within groups.

When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience when I am in a conversation and I have doubts/questions, I stop and breathe. I realize that what I am doing is perpetuating a pattern that was created within myself since I was in school, where I feared asking questions, because I thought “It does not matter if I ask, because I won’t understand either” or “My question is not important, they will be able to do it without me anyways” or “I will figure it out later”, where besides going into self-judgment, I went into procrastination by thinking and believing that my answers will someday magically be answered, instead of immediately taking self-responsibility and becoming self-directive in real time, stand up and ask.


I commit myself to stop and breathe when I start going into an emotional experience when having doubts/questions within communication, so as to assess the myself/the situation and then, assist and support myself through releasing all the energy through breathing, and once being clear within myself, just ask, while at the same time making sure I am expressing myself in specificity and being as clear as possible.