The other day I was dreaming of being at my grandparents' house. Every time I am there (through dreams) I perceive that the dream wants to tell me something.
These dreams are always related to girls and it is probably because I always go there with the current girlfriend. I do not really know.
My grandfather passed away like 2 years ago and this time the dream was related to a girl I know and my dead grandfather.
The dream goes like this:
My friend and I were staying at my grandparents' house and she was sleeping in another room. She told me that she heard scary noises coming from outside at night and that she couldn't sleep because she was too scared.
I wanted to know about these noises so I went to bed and then, I started hearing them. I immediately went to the front door and looked outside through the door eye and I saw nothing out of normal and what I heard was the sound of a marching band. Very loud.
Then something grabbed me and took me back into my bed. Everything was dark and I felt the presence of someone and I related it to my dead grandfather. I couldn't move.
This presence - that looked like a shadow - approached me and I was scared. I had the chance to stay longer within the dream or to wake up. It was up to me.
I thought "it's grandpa, I should not be afraid". I said his name and he whispered something I can't remember and then I woke up.
My whole physical body was shaking, especially my head. It was like an epilepsy attack.
When I woke up it was very dark and I still felt I was in my grandparent's house and it took me a while to realize I was here, in my house.
I was scared and I thought, "probably my grandpa is here and he wants to tell me something important". I thought that he was here with me and that he could not communicate with me because we were in different dimensions.
I also thought, "maybe he is talking to me and he does not realize I can't listen to him". I wanted to tell him that I was not able to hear him, but I did not do anything and then I fell asleep again.
A few days later I went to a concert. My friends were playing. I stood up on a chair so I was able to watch all of them. I became one with them in a sense of understanding what they were doing, what they were expressing and how they were experiencing themselves.
Suddenly, I watched my friend's guitar while he was playing and a vision/thought came into my mind: a broken string. I thought, "Shit, I hope he does not break a string". Then I gave another look and he had broken a string.
After the show, I told a friend that before my friend broke the string I knew it would happen and she said "you are a clairvoyant!".
Then, I felt weird and I remembered another experience I had when I was 6 years old. While I was waking up and still having a blurry picture of what my physical eyes were seeing, I saw something that looked like a little angel. Just like in pictures; blond hair, white tunic and an aureole over his head. He was praying in front of me.
As I was waking up this thing faded away. I remember getting up immediately, because I did not want to fall asleep again and doubt whether it really happened or not.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to get scared when experiencing mind states while I am dreaming.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define mind states as a paranormal event.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to create thoughts while experiencing myself within dreams and reality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear the thoughts I have created after having an experience as such.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe/perceive that someone that is dead wants to communicate with me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I am a clairvoyant.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become happy when believing I am a clairvoyant.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to trust my thoughts once they have coincided with reality without considering that it was only a coincidence, because it is quite normal to break strings while playing live.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience myself within polarity equations due to mind states and thoughts, because first I felt scared, and then when my thoughts coincided with reality I felt happy considering the idea that I saw the future.
When and as I see myself having a bunch of thoughts related to possibilities and probabilities in order to expect them to fit with reality and then believe that I was "right", I stop and breathe. I realize that wanting to have thoughts related to events that might happen inhibits me from being sure and physically stand up, because I am looking for trusting my thoughts to give me a feeling of being sure and stable.
I commit myself to stop the thoughts when considering possibilities and probabilities of future events that may or may not fit reality. Thus, I will be able to be focused on my present, now and here, because within the search of knowing what may or may not happen based on all the thoughts that I create and try to fit with reality, I am only based on self-interest, so as to give my thoughts power, because I have allowed my mind system to make me believe they can be real, because they have empirically coincided with the physical existence a few times.