martes, 4 de marzo de 2014

Identifying Reactions Within Dreams (Day 18)

I'm going to walk a point that opened the other day when I was dreaming and how within the dream I was able to identify reactions and apply self-honesty up to a point.

I was on holidays in a different city with two friends and my parents were going to visit me. For some reason my friends decided to go out on their own and I perceived that event as if they had become a little mad at me.

While I was sharing with my dad, I realized that I had to go back to the hotel in order to pick up some backpacks. So, I called my friends but they didn't want to go back and unfortunately, they had the keys to our room.

During our phone conversation, I perceived their attitude as "I don't care", so I called them again and explained that it was compulsory to get those backpacks for my parents. Finally they agreed, but they were not happy for doing the favor.

That's when I became frustrated, angry and upset, thinking, "why don't they want to do it? It’s a simple favor".

I remember myself back chatting aloud whereas my dad was next to me and I said "you know what, this is dishonest. I am reacting towards something separate from me. I see the situation and I have to stop the process of feeding my mind system, because I am allowing it".

Even though I was not able to apply self-forgiveness there, I realized that I was allowing myself to become one and equal with the system and I stopped.

According to what I have been reading, when human beings dream, they function in a sub-conscious/unconscious state; therefore, I have realized that this process of self-honesty has gone beneath the surface that exists in our mind and platforms/layers that compound it, creating self-awareness in a sub-conscious/unconscious level.

It's like when I was at college studying English pedagogy and once a teacher said that if we were able to speak English within our dreams, that means that the second language was already introjected within our minds subconsciously.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react with anger/frustration when my friends didn't want to do me a favor within a dream.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience negatively charged emotions within a dream.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to activate reactions after the thoughts I had within my dream when my friends didn't want to do me a favor.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to perceive my friends were upset because I was going to meet my parents during our holidays within a dream.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react with thoughts, emotions and backchats within a dream.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feed the system with more and more thoughts based on self-judgment while dreaming.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I made a mistake when deciding to meet my parents during holidays, because I went there with my friends and later I had other plans apart from them.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself the thought "why don't they want to do it? It’s a simple favor" - after talking to my friends - to exist within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to go into the inferior/victim character when thinking/believing/perceiving I made a "bad" choice for meeting my parents while being on holidays with my friends.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define as a "bad choice" when something I decided does not fit what I have defined as what everybody else expects from me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define as a "good choice" the moment in which I get the approval of the people I am experiencing myself with.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to move through polarity when placing myself in what is "right" or "wrong".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define decisions as "right" or "wrong" without applying commonsense and what is best for all. Instead of that, I went directly into thoughts, reactions and self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to be the expression of commonsense, because I did not allowed myself to stop the reactions until I realized that the energy I was feeding was getting bigger and bigger, therefore, creating more and more thoughts.

When and as I see myself reacting with self-judgment towards the doubt if I am doing "right" or "wrong", I stop and breathe. I realize that I am defining myself according to what others can consider as "right" and "wrong", which only relates to self-interest and manipulation, and I'm also accepting and allowing myself to direct my existence based on what others may think of me when I suddenly perceive their attitude as being upset for not doing what I "need", which later manifests as a subjective and mind-directed interpretation of the events through polarized and reactive perception.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I start interpreting the events - while still being in a polarity reaction - with self-judgment through back chatting and activating emotions.

I commit myself to stop myself when I catch myself categorizing decisions as "right" and/or "wrong", because the "right" and "wrong" come from comparison and regret. 


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