lunes, 31 de marzo de 2014

Pushing myself towards self-writing (Day 22)

I have allowed myself to procrastinate my self-writings remaining within my mind and "feeling" satisfied with the idea of "I will do it later". 

This is not happening only at writing. For instance, I have to go to the doctor, check some tests that I applied at school, etc. and I haven't physically moved myself. I have also observed that this is a repeated pattern that I allow to exist with and as myself in every field I have to express myself.

When I do my self-writings I usually want to write more and more, but I allow myself to wait until the next day and then it becomes easy to me to put it off for more and more days.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to procrastinate my duties.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself the thought "It does not matter, I'll do it later" to exist within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feed myself with thoughts that create the illusion of "everything's okay".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to remain within my mind and how it makes me "feel" instead of physically standing up and become the directive principle of my life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let my mind be the engine that I feed with thoughts as energy.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to look for excuses to avoid doing my duties. For instance, I everyday have points that I know I have to write down and deconstruct, but I only do some poor self-forgiveness in my mind after applying the four count breath but I sometimes get distracted with what's going on in the environment and I don't finish.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to only apply self-forgiveness in my mind instead of writing them down and really comprehend and get to the roots of the mind reactions/manifestations.

When and as I see myself procrastinating my duties, I stop and breathe. I realize that my participation in procrastinating inhibits me from physically move myself, remaining only within my mind, only thinking about self-forgiveness, but giving no direction to my physical body.

I commit myself to carry with me a notebook everywhere I go in order to write the points I have to write when I am on my own, instead of trusting my mind as a reminder.

I commit myself to deconstruct the points in which I allow myself to procrastinate so as to move myself not as the mind, but physically. 

I commit myself to write at least three times a week.

I commit myself to physically move myself towards the pendent duties I have, thus I will be able to enjoy my present, now and here without being worried about the things I haven't done, constantly existing in the past every time I remember I have procrastinated.


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