Ir al contenido principal

Re-Arranged Classroom (Day 19)

Summer holidays lasted 2 months and 2 days ago I got back to work. I teach English in a school and I am in charge of a specific class. My students are in 7th grade (Elementary) so they are from 12 to 13 years old. I can say I am the head teacher of that class, but besides that I also teach 7 other classes.

Getting back to work after 2 months off took me a process of re-adaptation, because I got completely disconnected during holidays. The first class I had to meet was mine (7th grade) and at first, students sat where they wanted/decided.

I noticed there was about 6 new students that come from other schools, so I wanted to make them share with the old ones, in order make them part of the class and not as the ones that are apart just because they are new.

I asked them to take their backpacks and come to the front and then, I assigned them a specific position/chair. 

What I realized after doing this, is that my application within the re-arragament consisted in a "choice", because I assigned positions according to my criterion, but when seeing the final outcome, I realized I was participating in polarity. Why?

Because, I placed the quiet students at the front and the more energetic and talkative students at the back = creating a manifested polarity equation. It is like when people in power say "the rich are going to live here, and the poor over there".

My starting point was to encourage communication among all of them, avoiding rejection, but as I first only paid attention to the "good" ones, I forgot about the "bad" ones.

So, I realized I did the opposite. It was interesting to see the result, because I ended blending them based on their personality traits. If I wanted to make them all share themselves I should have taken away all my perceptions, ideas and beliefs, because I judged them under my own constructs and that later manifested as a physical upshot.

I should have considered the physical instead. For instance, the smallest ones at the front and the tallest at the back, because in commonsense the little ones at the back couldn't see the board. Also, with the students that wear glasses... I could have placed them at the front to help them see the board effectively. But I placed my mind system over everything

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to assess/re-arrange students based on polarity.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use a criterion that consists on polarity.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to trust my criteria as if it was the best for all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge/discriminate students based on their personality traits.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to divide/split students instead of encouraging the achievement of the class as ONE.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see what is best for all based on the classroom conditions/dimensions/structure, so as to place students wherein they are able to see the board, based on their physical traits and providing equal opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to be more specific with my starting point, because it was only the "idea" of doing something"right", but I got the opposite. Instead of joining, I divided/segmented/discriminated.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see/realize/understand that whenever I allow/feed polarity, polarity will be the manifested outcome of what existed within and as myself, because as I am in the inside, I manifest in the outside.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to communicate with students and make an agreement in which everybody has the opportunity to take responsibility, but instead of that, I told them what to do, without even trying an agreement, because I defined them as if they were too young to work with responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to make decisions based on what I "think".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to THINK instead of see/realize/understand and just DO it.

When and as I see myself assessing/helping students based on my beliefs/ideas/perceptions/definitions/constructs, I stop and breathe. I realize that the mind criterion does not support life as the physical in order to bring equal opportunities and/or the chance to approach a better interaction among students. Instead of that, I am categorizing/judging/segmenting/discriminating based on the mind system's perception/interpretation.

I commit myself to make sure I am not supporting/feeding my mind system when assessing students, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and release myself as the mind and see with my physical eyes instead of applying a mind system (criterion).


Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …