Summer holidays lasted 2 months and 2 days ago I got back to work. I teach English in a school and I am in charge of a specific class. My students are in 7th grade (Elementary) so they are from 12 to 13 years old. I can say I am the head teacher of that class, but besides that I also teach 7 other classes.
Getting back to work after 2 months off took me a process of re-adaptation, because I got completely disconnected during holidays. The first class I had to meet was mine (7th grade) and at first, students sat where they wanted/decided.
I noticed there was about 6 new students that come from other schools, so I wanted to make them share with the old ones, in order make them part of the class and not as the ones that are apart just because they are new.
I asked them to take their backpacks and come to the front and then, I assigned them a specific position/chair.
What I realized after doing this, is that my application within the re-arragament consisted in a "choice", because I assigned positions according to my criterion, but when seeing the final outcome, I realized I was participating in polarity. Why?
Because, I placed the quiet students at the front and the more energetic and talkative students at the back = creating a manifested polarity equation. It is like when people in power say "the rich are going to live here, and the poor over there".
My starting point was to encourage communication among all of them, avoiding rejection, but as I first only paid attention to the "good" ones, I forgot about the "bad" ones.
So, I realized I did the opposite. It was interesting to see the result, because I ended blending them based on their personality traits. If I wanted to make them all share themselves I should have taken away all my perceptions, ideas and beliefs, because I judged them under my own constructs and that later manifested as a physical upshot.
I should have considered the physical instead. For instance, the smallest ones at the front and the tallest at the back, because in commonsense the little ones at the back couldn't see the board. Also, with the students that wear glasses... I could have placed them at the front to help them see the board effectively. But I placed my mind system over everything
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to assess/re-arrange students based on polarity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use a criterion that consists on polarity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to trust my criteria as if it was the best for all.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge/discriminate students based on their personality traits.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to divide/split students instead of encouraging the achievement of the class as ONE.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see what is best for all based on the classroom conditions/dimensions/structure, so as to place students wherein they are able to see the board, based on their physical traits and providing equal opportunities.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to be more specific with my starting point, because it was only the "idea" of doing something"right", but I got the opposite. Instead of joining, I divided/segmented/discriminated.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see/realize/understand that whenever I allow/feed polarity, polarity will be the manifested outcome of what existed within and as myself, because as I am in the inside, I manifest in the outside.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to communicate with students and make an agreement in which everybody has the opportunity to take responsibility, but instead of that, I told them what to do, without even trying an agreement, because I defined them as if they were too young to work with responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to make decisions based on what I "think".
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to THINK instead of see/realize/understand and just DO it.
When and as I see myself assessing/helping students based on my beliefs/ideas/perceptions/definitions/constructs, I stop and breathe. I realize that the mind criterion does not support life as the physical in order to bring equal opportunities and/or the chance to approach a better interaction among students. Instead of that, I am categorizing/judging/segmenting/discriminating based on the mind system's perception/interpretation.
I commit myself to make sure I am not supporting/feeding my mind system when assessing students, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and release myself as the mind and see with my physical eyes instead of applying a mind system (criterion).