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Mostrando entradas de septiembre, 2014

Part II: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunch Time (Day 46)

This is the second part of my previous post and here I am going to explore/investigate through self-forgiveness how my current reactions towards "B" (N's bf) might be influenced by some events that I observed in the past.
What I saw was "D" kissing (as saying hi) "B". This scenario triggered a reaction within myself: "since when these two beings are so close? Did I miss something within the story? I thought "D" only kissed me that way when saying hi".
These reactions continued after observing other events in which I observed there was a "preference" towards B; some favors that were not allowed to me. I compared myself with "B" with backchats like "D thinks B is a very responsible guy, that's why he trusts him and not me". I am not worthy of trust, because D always thinks I am going to fuck things up as he has mentioned in the past". Therefore, B is responsible and I am Irresponsible = a polarity…

Nice Haircut! (Day 45)

The other day while I was parking my car, I suddenly saw "X" with a new haircut. I thought "well, it is cool to cut your hair after holidays or after you haven't been working for a while, because that shows that you take good care of your presentation".
I also thought "he looks a little bit weird/funny, his head and face look like if X was a different person", but I suppressed myself when the desire of making fun of X activated within my mind as a pre-programmed reaction.
Then, during the day "Y" made a joke based on "X"'s haircut; "Nice hair cut!", but only the ones that were next to "Y" laughed. I remembered a character from the movie The Fifth Element and within my mind they looked so similar that I immediately looked for a picture on the internet and I showed it to "Y" while I asked "does he look similar to someone in here?" and "Y" immediately knew what I was referring to and…

The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunch Time (Day 44)

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to remain in a constant mind perception when I interact with "N" and her boyfriend, thinking that they both like fighting/arguing and that they complain/over react too much and do not tolerate anything that is different to their mind settings.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that these two beings think I am crazy and just speak bullshit, because they always have a response to what I say, and this response is perceived by me as an attack. 
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that what these two beings understand when I speak is only a small part of the whole, because they do not let me finish what I am saying and interrupt/attack a specific point that I mentioned to abolish it immediately.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see, realize and understand that when people do not listen to all…

Self-forgiveness (Day 43)

S elf love enough to
E xplore one-self and
L et go
F ears and pre-programmed characters
F rom and as the
O rganic robot that
R esists to
G row, expand and be able to see, realize and understand
"I" as the slave behind the
V eil that exists as the mind as
E motions, feelings and thoughts that
N ot allow one-self to see reality and develop common sense
E qual and one with the physical, now and here
S lowly but surely in
S elf-honesty as every moment of every breath