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Mostrando entradas de octubre, 2014

Part VI: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunchtime (Day 50)

This is the continuation of my previous post in which I saw how I had made a connection between me doing something what my mom did/does (serving lunch) that I had defined as an "inferior" action due to my perception towards her and thus feeling inferior when doing the same. (Mom + Serving Dinner = A Submissive Action)
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define what my mom does as an inferior action.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge my mom.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to give more value to my perceptions towards my mom instead of seeing her common sense actions. 
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become my own definition of inferiority when doing what mom does, ending up in self-judgment.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let this energetic reactions of inferiority get me distracted from my current moment.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and…

Part V: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunchtime (Day 49)

Within this post I am going to walk through self-forgiveness the reactions as back chats that popped up when I decided to help "D" with serving the dishes at lunch time, considering that I had to serve dinner to "N" and "B", people with whom I feel uncomfortable due to past and present experiences. 
The backchat I had was: 
"I shouldn't serve dinner to "N" and "B", because I don't like them and they always complaint at me"
Here, I see how my mind looks for excuses/justifications in order to avoid doing something physical as moving myself after feeling overwhelmed with my reactions while interacting with "N" and "B".
My mind immediately needed to place me within its polarity whether as "inferior" or "superior". 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get possessed by my reactions while standing up to do something physical.
I forgive myself that I haven't accept…

Part IV: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunchtime (Day 48)

In this post I would like to share an experience when interacting with "B" while I was reacting within and as emotions/backchats when we were having lunch.
The first thing to mention is that I tend to avoid looking at "B" because I feel uncomfortable sharing lunch with him. I have tried to be "nice" when I meet the lunchtime scenario and I say "hi" to all there, but sometimes he doesn't even reply back.
I remember that like two or three months ago I started getting lots of complaints by "N" due to my habits and I felt like "this never happened in the past, why is "N" complaining too much at me lately? Probably she has been influenced by "B" because they are a couple and are like "One", therefore, if he starts complaining at me behind my back, she will tell me all those things in order to avoid listening to her boyfriend complaining and just be happy instead".
After I noticed that, I tried to hav…

Part III: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunch Time (Day 47)

This is the third part of my previous posts (Part I & Part II) with regards to the character I activate when I interact with a specific being at lunch/dinner time.
Today, I am going to deconstruct a reaction that activated yesterday when I interacted with "B", which basically consists of a mind battle of winner/loser and feeling superior/inferior.
The reason why I am walking this is because I want to change my reactions every time that I interact with "B". It's not that I treat B in a rude manner. It's not something that can be easily perceived by observing me, because it happens within myself as internal conversations/backchats after I have observed/heard "B" doing something.
The story goes like this:
I sat and get prepared to eat. I was the first person there so I grabbed the remote control and turned the tv on. I rarely watch tv, but I wanted to do a little surfing in case there was something interesting to watch.
I thought that no-one would hav…