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Part VIII: The Endless Cycle of Complaining at Lunchtime (Day 52)

The other day I was having lunch and all the people there and I started talking about fears and reactions. I mentioned that - according to what I have seen in some Desteni videos - Jesus was asked about death many times by human beings. That's when "N" asked: where did you get that information? And I said "I investigated it on the web" and she reacted with a gesture like saying "I don't believe it".

This is the Video Series I am referring to:

A week passed and "N"'’s Boyfriend (B), said: Pablo, you always say that it's important to question things, but the other day you mentioned something about Jesus and you didn't mention the source where you get the information. Do you question your beliefs?

I explained what beliefs are and that sometimes there's information that makes lots of sense to me because it is commonsense, but it's a process. It's not about saying "ok, 1, 2, 3 now, I am going to question everything" from a Rebel starting point.
The conversation was pretty interesting and I never thought I could be having these chats and about these topics that are common within all of us.

It was cool to see his eyes open wide with some stuff I mentioned. It was like he was listening and understanding what I was saying. It was like he, listening to me for the first time lol.

I can't tell that my reactions within the lunchtime scenario have completely changed, but it has somehow. It's a process that I am enjoying because I am developing intimacy with the people in my environment, especially with my mom, because we have been communicating about fears, memories and reactions and when I tell her about it, she goes like "that happens to me too!". She is really open to share her experiences, so I feel that as long as I support myself, I am going to be prepared to support her and all the people willing to change.

Thanks to the Desteni tools I have learned how to really communicate with people and how to change my reactions when I feel uncomfortable in order to take self-responsibility and contribute to the construction of a commonsensical communication that will support others realize that they can change their own self-definitions, fears, reactions and judgment.


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Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …