Ir al contenido principal

Don't Cry (Day 54)

Within one of my previous posts I mentioned how I have been developing a different kind of communication with the people in my environment in order to construct common sense understanding and be able to support others through supporting myself.

Today I was having lunch and as I was saying something about the family context "M" started crying. She said that I had mentioned a point that she has been dealing with.

As I am involved within this point, this mean I am responsible as self, as one that constitutes to the construction and the denouement through my daily participation.

"M" feels that what she does is not valued/appreciated because of the way I/we behave. 

She mentioned some actions that could make this situation different if often done, for instance sharing more time together, giving a call if I'm not coming home, buy some stuff when necessary, etc.

What "M" mentioned was kind of the conclusion she has after thinking and thinking about it.

The point here is that I don't want to compromise my "independence" and/or be manipulated. Manipulated not from an evil perspective of having control over someone and make him/her do what one wants. I would like to see in common sense how I can contribute to a re-definition of a family/social structure without involving feelings, emotions and thoughts, because if I feel guilty for being part of the reason why "M" was crying, I could end up doing something perceived/understood as "right", but creating the opposite, because I wouldn't be "helping" / "supporting" someone, but only making her fears remain asleep, but not released.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that in doing something someone is asking me in order to make things better/different I am going to be losing my "independence".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define independence as someone that is not responsible for what happens to other people.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that I could end up being manipulated for doing something "good" for "M".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see, realize and understand that "M" crying is an indicator of a situation that must be addressed in common sense, leaving emotions, feelings and thoughts apart, because if I would accept and allow myself to let my mind direct me within this scenario, I would probably end up crying and blaming others for the way I am, experiencing frustration, guilt and sorrow.

When and as I see myself believing that what I can do could make me a slave of a person that needs support, I stop and breathe. I realize that there are things that I haven't really considered or if I have thought of them, I haven't physically moved myself to make it something real and in doing them I am not going to be a slave. In this, I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that in doing something a person is asking I am going to become inferior and subject.

I commit myself to re-consider the points I have considered as something that can be done but that I haven't due to laziness and lack of initiative.

I commit myself to support myself within this point of my participation within the family context so as to walk myself through those actions that are never done that can make a change in other people's lives and, in this, I commit myself to support myself through self-writing the reactions that emerge when I do what I have been suggested and thus, be able to share my experience through communication and make others learn what I have walked through self-responsibility as the starting point.

I commit myself to support "M" through my self-expression when becoming emotional/possessed in order to help her identify the points that trigger those emotions/thoughts, placing them within myself and learn how to release them so she can do it as well.

Comentarios

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …