This is the continuation of the post Testing People through Changing my Behavior (Day 62). So, here I go with the Self-Forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not really be here as self-awareness when I change my behavior in certain scenarios with certain beings in my environment.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see, realize and understand that the switch in my behavior occurs within and as a reaction of judgment that I didn’t see coming because I was not aware of myself as my physical expression.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react with a change in my behavior trying to challenge the expression of another human being after I labeled them as “people that only express themselves as judgment”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think, believe and perceive that in changing my behavior as a reaction/judgment towards other “people that only express themselves as judgment” is the solution to make this world a better place as an application fostering the removal of human beings’ judgments.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see, realize and understand that I can “challenge” other beings as a game in which everyone is willing to deconstruct self, for instance Maieutics, once we all agreed. Or even just try it, but not emotionally reacting and then get guided by my judgments.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react from the desire of “revenge” when people I have labeled as "judges" are acting/inter-acting within/as my imagination as possible future scenarios wherein I see these beings experiencing Remorse and Regret for not realizing that they could have changed themselves earlier in their lives without having to experience a realization within and as a negatively charged emotion.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see, realize and understand that all the “negativity” I am able to see in other beings functions as a mirror that shows me what I am accepting and allowing to exist within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not effectively decode what’s on my mind system in order to be aware of the indicators that are showing me - as a reflection - what it requires assistance and support within myself.
When and as I see myself changing my behavior as a reaction of a previous judgment I made towards another being, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that it’s not “bad” or “wrong” to express myself in a manner that fosters to get to know others through placing them in certain scenarios, but once I have made sure I am here as self-awareness and self-control.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I “feel” like I want to test people in order to make sure I am here, that it’s just a game in order to get to know other people’s opinions.
I commit myself to not take for granted the thought that other people are full of judgments, because that would also make ME a person full of judgments that is not able to get to know more other beings and thus, I only end up making anticipated assumptions/conclusion giving more importance to the definitions of the mind instead of really expressing and sharing life as all, as one, as equal.