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Mostrando entradas de marzo, 2015

Communication Within Bands (Day 71)

Yesterday, a member of my band; “S” opened up a conversation among the three of us through facebook chat.
He mentioned that there’s going to be a gig on Saturday and that he talked to the guy in charge and said that we can play.
As the gig is going to be held in a different city which is 1 hour and a half away from here, we will not be provided with money for transportation, food and accommodation.

We wanted to know all about the backline/equipments they were going to have at the gig. You know, if the show is going to require a whole adventure to get it done, at least we have to be sure about playing in at least, comfortable conditions. That’s why we were asking for the equipment involved in order to make a decision whether we play or not.
The genre of the gig will be something like hardcore-punk, so as I grew up as a musician in such contexts I started kidding about it. For instance I said “I bet we will have a broomstick as a microphone stand”, and things like that.
So, besides the cond…

Jealousy = Love? (Day 70)

Within my previous post I mentioned a popular belief within relationships which is related to jealousy; “if your partner feels jealous, that’s a sign that he/she loves you”.
I remember participating in that belief in the past, I mean, I have been in both positions; I have felt jealous and I have had jealous girlfriends.
I mentioned in my previous post that I reacted with anger/frustration when my ex girlfriend said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore, because she thinks that in doing so, she will be proving to herself that she has grown up, though I thought she was only doing it because she wants to avoid conflict with some new partner, so basically, my reaction contained judgment and imaginations that could be real or not, but that’s up to her.
So, in the past I told some girlfriends to avoid talking with certain beings, especially their ex boyfriends, because for some reason, ex boyfriends/girlfriends are a symbol of rivalry and comparison, especially when we want to be the “only one…

What Happens After Breaking Up? (Day 69)

After breaking up with my ex-girlfriend a year passed and we started talking/meeting again. I was very clear that when we were together both participated in patterns that didn’t really supported our relationship in common sense, but at least for me, I knew I didn’t want to be with her again though it was cool to talk/meet like 3-5 times a year.
Oh, by the way, we were together for 3 years and we broke up in 2012.
She often sent me messages asking “hey how are you? I’m studying/I’m on vacation” and things like that. The last time she texted me was like a month ago.
Today I sent her a message saying hi and her response surprised me, because it went different to our previous chats. Apparently she had erased my number, because after I said hi she said “Pablo?” and then she said “look, I am not interested in having contact with my ex boyfriend and we are not friends. Sometimes we let go of some people and it’s part of growing up”.
I said “I bet you started a new relationship lol”. She said “th…

Part II: Helping Beggars? (Day 68)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that giving more money to beggars is the solution to finish with poverty and inequality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience blame when thinking that I am being too tight with the money I usually give to beggars.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give more money to beggars in order to avoid experiencing blame.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more importance to avoid experiencing blame as if that positive feeling I get after doing something "charitable"was to create a solution for poverty and inequality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in considering to give more money to beggars, my starting point is Self-Interest, because I am more focused on not experiencing blame instead of realizing the real change that has to happen in or…

Helping Beggars? (Day 67)

Two days ago I went to the gas station and I saw a guy outside that seemed to be a beggar. When I was coming back to my car I saw this guy approaching an old man, but I didn’t pay much attention until I suddenly realized the “beggar” ran after me. 
I opened the car window and he said: My friend, can you give me some money? I have a job and everything. It’s just that today I am asking for money.
I realized that this guy was kind of my same age, so I felt familiar, so I asked him “why do you need money? What will you buy?
He didn’t understand my questions so I said, “do you want food? Something to drink? What?
And he said, “I want to buy some weed”. So, I grabbed a couple of coins and gave them to him. He looked at the coins and said “Dude, do you have some more?” And here’s when I reacted angrily within myself. I said “no, son (lol) I am only doing you a favor”. Like, trying to make him understand that it’s not that I MUST “help” him. 
Then he asked me “do you have a cigarette?”, and I felt…