I have noticed that there are many people that tend to react with a type of “cyber tantrum” when something “negative” is going on within their lives. What I am referring to is when people close their Facebook accounts.
Earlier I was talking with a friend “P” who - as I have mentioned in my post called Hating Girlfriends (Day 59) – is in a kind of chaotic relationship immersed in constant cycles based on jealousy, comparison, breaking up, coming back again, etc, etc, etc. - basically all the systems from which relationships function.
I realized he had closed his Facebook account and I immediately related it to his… should I say ex girlfriend? Well, the movement in that polarity; one day she is his girlfriend and the next day she is the ex.
Anyways – I asked him “hey, what happened to your Facebook account?” and he explained that he was tired of all the bullshit within it. He mentioned that Facebook is full of shit and that he noticed he was too immersed within it and that now he prefers other applications such as Youtube and Whatsapp.
What I was able to say was “Dude, closing Facebook is not the real solution, because what you have to change is the habit/behavior/relationship with it”.
I have had some other friends that have done something similar when they have “emotional issues”. It’s like they commit a “cyber suicide” through deleting their Facebook accounts lol.
I would say that in doing so, you corroborate the importance you give to such platform. I mean, if you do not want to be “here” for your friends through deleting your Facebook account, you must know they can call/visit you. So, what’s the real point within closing your Facebook account?
I can tell that “P” did it because his (ex) girlfriend is so jealous, plus “P” has been unfaithful within his relationship before, so the only way to have sex again is proving each other they are doing something for the other, but not really for each one as One. Because if my girlfriend tells me who I must/mustn’t talk to and she feels jealous because I have many girlfriends on Facebook and I want sex with her but she is mad at me. Then, I have to do something to get her back and that is, doing what she has been asking for. And then I go assuming and believing that I am doing it for myself. Really?
I realize that we do not want to really change ourselves within relationships. I mean, we do all for the other person and we fool ourselves in forcing us to believe that we are becoming better human beings.
We give up certain points/aspects within our lives in order to keep having sex by pleasing the other person, which is basically deception. We – outside - appear to be “honest” but within ourselves we know we are not being self-honest.
For some reason this makes me feel angry/frustrated. It’s like I want to grab “P” and tell him “stop that fucking shit”, but I realize that the only thing I get by getting angry is just becoming a system reaction.
But - Why do I get angry/frustrated? Because I have been asked to provide some advice and people tend to say “I agree with that! Yeah, that’s what I will do” and then they “fall” again. So, seeing them participating in the same cycles makes me angry/frustrated and I get with this feeling that I have just wasted my time and saliva when talking with them.
Another point that I realize by bringing this to myself is “Perception”. In my previous post Affirmation = Limitation (Day 72) I mentioned how the lack of information makes you accept an affirmation based on a perception under the belief that you are “right” when actually you are “seeing” only what the other person is showing you (his/her own version of the story).
So – Going back to the main topic; closing your Facebook account. Well, each one has access to his/her own self-honesty to see if you are really doing it because you have decided to not participate in a platform that does not support life due to all the amount of videos/pictures/comments out of any common sense or if it’s under the belief that Facebook is to blame, which is ridiculous; It would be like burning your tongue with hot coffee and then blaming the coffee and throwing out the Coffee Cup in order to destroy it, believing that’s the real solution to your stupidity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and frustrated when realizing that someone has not really applied what we talked through the piece of advice they asked me for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe only one version of the whole story and keep it as the real version, which determines my actions/reactions towards my friends’ girlfriends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that each one must realize his/her own self-responsibility through self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personal the consequences that my friends experience when they do not apply what we have talked/shared.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to grab people that seem to not understand and shake them while saying “stop this fucking shit” as if that was to create a real self-awareness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my friends when they do not do what they have said they were going to do without seeing, realizing and understanding that I do the same sometimes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep a conversation within a reaction of anger/frustration after I realized that something has not been done by any of my friends and due to that, all I say is full of this desire for revenge, to make them understand through treating them badly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that punishment is the real solution to change this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this desire of revenge when someone has “fallen” is a reaction existing in my pre-programming due to my experiences within my childhood where every time I did something “wrong” I received the punishment by an adult.
When and as I see myself reacting with anger/frustration when someone is doing something out of what we “agreed”, I stop and breathe. I realize that my participation in that anger/frustration only leads me to desire revenge which is not the real solution to change this world.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I realize I am becoming angry/frustrated when a friend tells me he/she is doing something contrary to what they said they were going to do after a conversation with me and then, once that I make sure I am here in the physical, just listen to them and bring all to myself so as to see in self-honesty how I can change those points also existing within myself and become a living solution instead of a system reaction.