Within this post I am going to open up some points existing within myself in relation to some concepts/words I have reacted to recently. These are the concepts of Faithfulness v/s Loyalty and what we know – or think we know – as Natural v/s Unnatural.
Let’s first have a look at the definition of these words and how I can create something with them:
- - Steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.
- - True to one’s words, promises, vows, etc.
- - The state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness.
- - Faithfull adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.
- - Existing and or formed by nature.
- - Having undergone little or no processing and containing no chemical additives.
- - Contrary to the laws or cause of nature.
- - At variance with what is normal or to be expected.
Okay – The first two concepts of Faithfulness and Loyalty appeared on a movie called Frida, which is a movie about Frida Kahlo’s life. There was a scene where she was having an intimate conversation with his future husband and they mentioned these two concepts. The future husband said something like “I can’t promise you Faithfulness if we agree to marry, but I can promise you Loyalty”.
It was cool to realize how I have believed that for some reason Faithfulness and Loyalty are kind of synonyms and that if you are cheated, you believe your partner is a traitor or something like that, without realizing that one can be Unfaithful and continue being Loyal.
It’s Natural to believe that if you are in a relationship with a partner you won’t be cheated, because it’s Natural to attach oneself to the Catholic Principles of Monogamy.
I once was reading an article that mentioned that globalization is not something that started in the 21st century. It probably started in the 15th century with the Catholic Church spreading its beliefs to the rest of the world as the only one religion. As a consequence, we have come to believe that it’s Unnatural to be in a relationship where your partner has sex with another person, because that would be considered/defined/labeled/judged as a Sin. - From the Catholic Church’s perspective of course.
We tend to prefer that which seems to be Natural and we reject the Unnatural, but if we have a deeper look at those words/concepts and we then have another look at human beings’ lives, then something interesting to realize happens:
For instance, I was born through Cesarea, because my mom’s “natural” body’s condition was not able to have a “natural” birth. Therefore, I can say I was born through an “unnatural” method. This makes me part of the unnatural ones, the abnormal ones. So, should the unnatural/abnormal be rejected when they actually support life?
If we reject the Unnatural/Abnormal because of our beliefs/projections, then LIFE wouldn’t be possible for many people, including myself; my possibility to live in this world would be nonexistent.
Anyways - Going back to the Frida Kahlo’s example. Why do we assume that being in a relationship should determine the way we behave? I mean, even though I may agree to have sex with another human being while being in a relationship, we are supposed to not do it, because that would be Unnatural and “punished” by our partners, because they were invisibly/imperceptibly influenced by the Catholic Church’s beliefs and they may think those beliefs are part of themselves, so in being Unfaithful one would be perceived as a “traitor” who causes harm onto others; onto the ones we “love”.
That’s why I liked Frida’s movie, especially the part I mentioned, because they – through self-honest communication – were able to create an agreement where they could be Unfaithfull/Unnatural within their marriage. They didn’t think “What will everybody else think of us? How will we look to the eyes of the people?” – They didn’t give a shit, because they knew who they were and what they wanted = to Live and not limit themselves within globalized beliefs.
I am not saying that the solution to have a “better relationship” is to have sex with everybody whenever you want, although I don’t see any Unnatural aspects if it’s a mutual agreement. It would probably push us to investigate ourselves deeper and to stop believing that our partner "belongs to us". Unfaithfulness would switch its status quo from Unnatural to Natural and we probably wouldn’t react with jealousy as we do today, because it would be part of the Natural mechanism of relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why I have come to believe that relationships must function within and as the principle of Monogamy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the influence of the Catholic Church within human beings’ beliefs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to function according to the principle of Monogamy and feeling bad within myself when I realized I liked another person who was not my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not communicate effectively with my partners in the past, because when I liked another person I thought I was doing something “wrong” therefore I preferred to hide it instead of communicate it to my partners and together come to a solution.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing my thoughts, feelings and emotions when they were “Unnatural” to the eyes of the hegemonic discourse/belief existing within the mechanisms of relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I belong to the abnormal ones, because I wasn’t born naturally, without seeing, realizing and understanding that Natural and Unnatural are words that belong to polarity, therefore they exist within the mind = they are not real. I am real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the concepts of natural/unnatural, normal/abnormal, without realizing they are not real, because those are only perceptions and interpretations that function according to our pre-programmed inter-subjectivity based on knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be defined as an unnatural/abnormal human being if I speak in self-honesty about this topic.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that our current existence within this world is actually unnatural and abnormal and everyone who will propose something different will be labeled as an abnormal/unnatural/antichrist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that our current existence is Unnatural/Abnormal because we exist in Inequality and an Unequal system that does not provide Equal life conditions to everyone in this world is actually the real unnatural/abnormal manifestation/creation.
To be continued…