Part I: Stop Smoking (Day 84)
Part II: Stop Smoking (Day 86)
During this week I met a friend I hadn't seen for a couple of months and he mentioned he had stopped smoking. It was cool to realize that there was another person walking the same point as me. He mentioned that smoking started causing him headaches and he actually felt sick after doing it.
Then we went to his house and after a while he said he wanted to smoke, but there were no cigarettes, so he couldn't smoke.
We continued talking about many things that I will probably share in my next posts, because this friend knows about Desteni and every time we meet we share insights and we learn from each other.
I told him about self-manipulation and the 2 mechanisms one tends to use in order to manipulate self, which are Excuses and Justifications.
Suddenly he says "Well, it's not necessary to attach oneself to a RULE of not smoking anymore, we don't need to be like a priest or zen monk, because there exists what it's called Plasticity and the right to change our opinions. The main idea is not to abuse cigarettes. That's the key".
For a moment, I thought he was right, but I realized later that I had started to label/judge myself as a priest, monk or any other orthodox being who walks a decision as a penitence or something like that. I thought: Yeah, he is right. I don't need to do this forever. I can smoke once in a while without feeling bad about it for not "respecting" my own self-commitment.
But, you know what? - Wouldn't that be an Excuse/Justification? Because in self-honesty I can say that I am not stopping smoking in order to be forgiven by a specific deity or anything like that. I am not doing this driven by guilt/regret. People may compare me with an orthodox priest/monk, but I am not what other people think of me. So, labeling myself as an orthodox and then saying "I don't want to be an orthodox, therefore, I will smoke" would function as an Excuse and/or Justification in order to not be here as who I am breath by breath, in self-honesty.
Yesterday I met my friend again and I asked him "Have you smoked?" and he said "Yes. Plasticity, you know". For some reason I felt bad about him and then I thought "Most people's personalities are not really self-commited and if you are constantly looking for Excuses and Justifications in order to Deconstruct your self-commitments, of course you will find them, but in the end you won't achieve anything = you will continue perpetuating the same system and creating no change".
Now, I remember one of our chats and this friend once said that we are no longer living in Post-Modernity. We are actually living Trans-Modernity wherein each human being is constantly and continuously Transiting or Transcending = Changing.
He explained that in the past researchers got conclusions through their conducted studies and those were used to define/establish new paradigms in order to be applied within the system/society, but those paradigms remained stuck and were not realistic, because they never considered that the researcher's perspective Mutates/Transcends as well as the observed phonomenon.
This is of course something I totally agree with, because I can see it in reality. For instance in education. There are lots of approaches/paradigms that you as a teacher can pick, apply and blindly believe it as "the most effective one", until one day you realize "This is not working anymore", because generations have changed. We must be constantly and constinuously adapting ourselves to the context, because the context won't adapt to ourselves.
This is something you can prove by observing the "evolution" of other living species. For instance Roses (plants), they developed thorns as a "defense mechanism", in order to adapt themselves to their context and to avoid being eaten by birds and little mammals.
Basically what my friend meant was: In attaching yourself to only one paradigm (not smoking) is not related to life principles, because all living species Mutate/Transcend and so does the human being.
But, the way I see it now is that I am "mutating", because I was a smoker for about 13-14 years straight and I am currently developing a "defense mechanism" in order avoid being eaten by my Mind System as Excuses and Justifications, because I have proven that in participating within my mind as the desire to smoke - and other pre-programmed patterns as well - causes pain/damage in my throat, which unables me from speaking effectively (as a teacher) and singing (as a musician). Therefore, what I am doing is for myself/my body within my context in order to Transcend/Mutate my pre-programming - as well as roses have done - and in doing so I am giving birth to my Life as the Physical, as All, as One, as Equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with orthodox beings for stopping smoking and as a result, I started judging/labeling myself and desired to smoke again in order to avoid looking like an orthodox.
I forgive mysel that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being labeled by other people as an orthodox.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in stopping smoking I will become an orthodox, without seeing, realizing and understanding that every human being that blindly follows the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, excuses, justifications, etc are orthodoxes of the mind system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in being self-commited as self-honesty within a point that is the best for me/my body/my health, I won't be able to experience myself as life, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that self-honesty and self-commitment are the living principles that foster Oneness and Equality as what is Best for Me and Best for All.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that walking in self-honesty and self-commitment is the key to bring about a Change to this world, a Change human beings must experience as a "Transition", as "Mutation" as well as the Nature and other Living Species have done so far, where we will no longer participate in this world as an Orthodox of the Mind System while fooling ourselves through Knowledge and Information, as Excuses and Justifications to avoid standing up and change from withIN to withOUT = becoming One and Equal, fostering what is Best for All.
When and as I see myself judging myself as an orthodox for stopping smoking, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that the real orthodox is a person who blindly follows the mind system without deconstructing it.
I commit myself to continue deconstructing myself within this process of self-honesty and self-commitment in order to release myself from the mind system and start living freedom as self-responsible and self-honest participation away from pre-programmed mind patterns.
When and as I see myself thinking that I am not really living because of my decision to quit smoking, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that "not living" is actually being a mind program that uses knowledge and information as Excuses and Justifications in order to remain stuck without standing up and committing self to change from within to without as well as plants and other living species have done as living examples.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I find new excuses and justifications that I might use in order to manipulate myself, so I will be able to bring myself back here and remember who I am as life and then continue walking my self-commitments in self-honesty without participating in the mind as the desire to smoke.