This is the continuation of an argument I wrote down within the post The Unification of Bands (Day 94).
I was recently watching some videos of the arrogant singer’s band and I realized that as soon as I saw him performing I started judging. I judged his face, hair, eyes, clothes, teeth, the way he moved with the music, his voice and the content of his lyrics.
Last night I checked this dude’s Facebook, because I wanted to know as much as I could in order to kind of cross-reference through ideas and perceptions my opinion about him. The opinion I had was that he is a mind system with no comprehension about how his mind functions.
This has been a common judgment I have created towards people since I started learning about my own mind. I place myself in a superior position based on knowledge and information, plus all the details I mentioned above such as physical traits.
I pictured myself having another argument with this dude where I told him to write his perspectives and then humiliating him through the deconstruction of the process I am walking. For instance, in one of his lyrics he mentioned something like we are lacking of culture and identity. So, I picture myself asking him “Do you know that culture is a construct as well as identity?”. Like, wanting to be more than him through showing off how much I know and making him realize that he apparently has no idea about what he is talking about.
I realize this is unacceptable, because it shows to me that the judge character existing within myself still requires self-direction as well as the process of stopping my participation within and as energy after I have been involved in an argument.
This reveals to me that I still want to feel positive and that I want to win through making other people lose, making them look ignorant/stupid. It’s like an upgraded maieutics based on self-interest, because through this behavior I am not creating what is best for all through a mutual learning process. I am only considering what is the best for me, which is feeling more than others.
It sometimes seems easier for me to judge other people’s behavior instead of walking a self-honest introspection in order to change those behaviors also existing within myself and become a living example instead of an arrogant being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in energy after an argument, because I experienced the argument one week ago and I still feel I want revenge through continuing with the argument.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture myself having the same argument but reacting differently, for instance smashing my guitar against the arrogant singer’s head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge in order to feel that I have won an argument through making other people look ignorant/stupid, because I compare myself with them and I see myself as more than them instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that we are all one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the stalker character driven by energy and desire for revenge when checking a person’s Facebook and videos in order to confirm that I was right when thinking, believing and perceiving that that person is an ignorant mind system that believes himself to be cool when he’s actually not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that what I am judging in other human beings through Facebook and videos is what they really are, without seeing, realizing and understanding that the only way I have to know them in a deeper level is through interacting in real time and space without energetic charges/judgments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people’s physical traits and behavior when I have created within myself the desire for revenge and the desire to feel more than them when I have been involved in arguments while being possessed by energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my participation within and as these behaviors only perpetuate the patterns I want to stop within myself instead of releasing them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that self-introspection and the comprehension of mind system gives me the right to judge people, because they apparently don’t have the same knowledge, information and realizations that I have walked through this process of self-writing in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in mind systems when thinking, believing and perceiving that I can be more than other human beings because of the knowledge and information I have acquired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there exist such thing as better people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that through applying self-honesty I am better than other human beings that don’t apply self-honesty through self-writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be admired by people who realized that I was right and that they were wrong, without seeing, realizing and understanding that right/wrong only exist within and as the mind = it’s an illusion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not effectively apply myself in every moment of breath, because I get diverted/seduced by mind systems instead of being unconditionally here as self-expression, self-trust and self-control in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the process of breathing here while accepting and allowing myself to participate in mind systems such as judgments and desires.
When and as I see myself remaining in energy as the desire for revenge after I had an argument, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that instead of continuing to feed the mind systems, I have to write about it in order to see the points where I haven’t been specific enough within the self-forgiveness statements and so be able to completely stop my participation within the mind.
I commit myself to continue writing about a situation I already wrote if notice there is still energy left messing around within my mind that hasn’t been released, so I can bring myself here and live as self-expression out of pre-programmed mind systems.
When and as I see myself participating within and as the stalker character and judging other human beings’s traits, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that this behavior is being enforced by my acceptance and allowance within my participation in energy that seeks for revenge and the desire to feel sure that I am more than another human being because of the aspects I judge on them through thoughts, beliefs and interpretations.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I see myself judging another human being based on beliefs, thoughts and interpretations in order to bring myself back here and realize that we are all equal and one.
I commit myself to take self-responsibility through living the principle of oneness and equality as the realization that all I see in others is the reflection of myself.
I commit myself to deconstruct through self-writing in self-honesty all that I am able to see in other human beings instead of feeding my mind systems through participating in the desire for revenge wherein ego wants to feel superior without living the principles of oneness and equality.
When and as I see myself feeling superior to other human beings after I have compared myself and I have ended up being "the best" while they are the stupid/ignorant ones, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that this process and all I am learning through Desteni has nothing to do with knowledge and information and/or being more than others and that these beliefs of superiority are systems that I have been feeding within my mind instead of releasing them through deconstruction and then walking the real change as a living example in self-honesty in every moment of every breath.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I start feeling superior to other human beings that apparently haven’t had similar realizations as me, in order to work on my own process first and develop my utmost potential as one instead of participating in mind systems that do not support life as equality.