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Part II: Masturbation & Porn (Day 109)

This is the continuation of the previous post called Masturbation & Porn (Day 108). Here I would like to share some stuff I was doing through playing with the word Masturbation:

Mas = More (in Spanish) = To Add.

Turbate (Turbar in Spanish) = To get someone confused so he / she does not know what to say or do.

Masturbation = More-Turbation = To add confusion in human beings’ lives through limiting self-expression.

The question is: Why would Masturbation limit human beings’ self-expression? I would say that everything that belongs to a programming is part of self-limitation, especially when we do not realize that we are conditioned, because we believe that what we feel / desire is part of the human’s nature.

The problem with this belief is that it is so ingrained within ourselves that everything we think, say and do goes through a conditioned / programmed process, because the control / manipulation is not only out there, it’s also existing within us inside our minds. We believe we are free, but the truth is that actually “believing” is already a conditioned / programmed behavior / pattern.

After reading my previous post, I realized an interesting point in relation to this conditioned / programmed process of thinking / believing. I mentioned that I didn’t think / believe that I was an addicted to masturbation. I made that statement based on frequency, but then I realized that the addiction does not necessarily relate to the amount of times a day / week / month you do it, because one can masturbate once a week BUT always using porn.

It does not matter if one masturbates once a day / week / month. As long as you are doing it through watching porn, you are being dependent / addicted to that to be able to express yourself sexually.

If one attaches oneself to beliefs / ideas and ways of looking at self, one will never be able to change, because we would be hiding behind the beliefs / ideas and using them as excuses / justifications such as “I do not masturbate a lot. I am not addicted. I do not have a problem with masturbation. Everything is perfect in my life” in order to continue perpetuating our conditioned / programmed behavior / pattern / addiction.

We limit our self-expression through hiding behind our beliefs, because we do not know how to look at ourselves through self-honest introspection. We fear to see ourselves beneath the surface, because we fear finding a monster living there. But, it is necessary to do it, it is necessary to face it, it is necessary to deconstruct it. I would say that most human beings have a monster living inside of them, but we are not aware of it, because no one speaks it.

One has to realize that self-judgment is not going to help. Plus, we should not feel guilty, because many of our patterns / behaviors were socially learned through interacting with each other. We came to this world and it was already fucked up. We see people blaming each other, without realizing that that which they blame in others is the same existing within themselves somehow.

If I say that we should not feel “guilty” that does not mean that one is not Responsible, especially when we become aware of how certain patterns / behaviors function within ourselves. Therefore, becoming self-responsible would be to apply a self-honest introspection beyond our beliefs / ideas and then stop the patterns that feed the starving monster within ourselves, so we can become self-directive and avoid giving our power away to the conditioned mind patterns that keep one's self-expression trapped / limited / conditioned.

I will continue...

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