Ir al contenido principal

Ignore & Forget: The Condition Beneath Invisible Violence (Day 117)


It seems like human beings are used to define violence within 2 dimensions, which are physical and emotional/psycological violence. The physical one when using our hands or whatever we found around to punish someone such as a knife, a gun or any type of weapon. The emotional/psychological violence when we use our words to make someone feel bad, especially through our voice tonality and the use of pejoratives. Another category existing here is cyber bullying, which is when people send text messages attacking a specific person and they create all sort of lies in order to create a chaos within the victim’s life.

But there are some other types of violence that are not that visible that I would like to mention here. They are not obvious or palpable as the previous ones. I am going to refer to 2 specific ones.

The first one is symbolic violence. Even though this one is evident, we do not understand it as violent. Why? Because it’s part of what we have accepted as ‘normal’. What would be an example of symbolic violence? Well, in my country is very common to see beer commercials where they show women with big boobs, bikinis and ‘perfect bodies’ next to the beers. What is this invisibly causing? It perpetuates gender roles and stereotypes. The male kind of going ‘bring me my beer, bitch’. Women’s bodies used to get males’ attention. Also when you go to the mall and you see models next to expensive cars. Why don’t they use male models? I bet most females models even feel proud when modeling next to a Ferrari with their huge asses and boobs getting all the attention without even being aware how they are being instruMENTALized for cash. And yeah, they are making their dreams/desires/goals come true.

But there is this other type of violence that I don’t know what to call it. It’s when we Ignore and then we Forget. For instance I have noticed that sometimes I am checking e-mails/threads/messages and someone is asking a question, I may know the answer. Or probably there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer, because only a feedback is required, but I Ignore it and then I just Forget. It seems to be a very subtle and silent type of violence but it has its consequences. For instance when parents are busy doing some stuff and then they go outside to do other stuff and they ‘forgot’ that they were preparing french fries and they ‘ignored’ or ‘forgot’ that their baby was playing around and then an accident happens and the baby gets burned. I would say it is linked to neglect/negligence/laxati.

We think that when we ignore we are not responsible, especially because no one else will know it and it remains within our secrets. But probably if we would have expressed ourselves differently, in self-awareness,  the outcome would be different.

When I have a look within myself after I have forgotten after ignoring, I realize that there’s ego playing out. Why? Because we know with whom to do it and with whom we must not. And the reasons why I have ignored are: I don’t care, I’m having too much right now, I am busy, I will do it later (then we forget), someone else will do it, this is not really relevant, I am too shy to go and tell them, etc.

I remember that some years ago I was walking down the street and I saw a parked car with the lights on next to a house. The driver had Forgotten to turn the lights off so he Ignored that he was going to run out of battery. I thought ‘the car battery is going to die. I should knock at the door and tell them about it’, but what did I do? I thought ‘naa, I don’t even know them. Probably they won’t take longer and it won’t be a problem. Plus, I am late’ and I Ignored the situation. I saw an opportunity to help, but I didn’t because I was so used to Ignore that I felt guilty for a couple of minutes until I then just... Forgot.

Is that violent? I would say yes, because I didn’t place myself in the other person’s shoes. I didn’t help them as I would have liked to be helped, therefore, if I am allowing a negative consequence, if I am not helping, what am I doing? I am approving it to continue happening.

It functions as it follows: We consciously Ignore and then we unconsciously Forget.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Ignore something/someone because I do not want to take responsibility and I prefer using excuses and justifications in order to avoid going through that point that creates resistance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am not in fact Ignoring something separate of me, because we are all one and equal, therefore, when I Ignore someone I am Forgetting about myself and thus, I end up Forgetting that I have also Ignored myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I Ignore I am doing it from and as my ego, because if I define the opportunity as something that can bring me a positive experience I will do it, but if I have defined the opportunity as something not relevant, I will Ignore it, because I am placing myself in the superior side of the polarity equation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the first letters of Ignore and Forget create the conditional ‘IF’ which means that ‘I will do it IF I get something positive’, for instance let the driver know that they Forgot to turn off the lights of the car IF the driver is a hot girl, but I won’t do it IF it’s someone to whom I do not react to with feelings/attraction.  Therefore, I forvive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself based on conditions without unconditionally apply the principle of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question myself when I am Ignoring and then just unconsciously Forget, completely losing self-awareness until the consequences manifest as guilt for instance, where I regret that I didn’t do it when I had the chance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the consequences when human beings collectively Ignore each other, without realizing that in Ignoring each other, we are actually Forgetting that we are all one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the reason why one prefers Ignoring is because no one wants to take responsibility, because people are tired and full of problems that having another thing to be worried about might be ‘negative’, because we are not taught anywhere how to practically manage our minds as thoughts, feelings and emotions, so most of the times we tend to make things look bigger than what they are and we get trapped within our minds without knowing how to give ourselves direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed before Ignoring something/someone when having the situation in front of me, without actually asking myself ‘why am I experiencing myself like this?’ and just act upon that apparent excess to finally – and as usual – Forget.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must function within this pattern of Ignore and Forget due to how the world functions nowadays, as though it was a sort of defense mechanism against all the problems we have nowadays within and without in order to have a better life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to think and believe that through the pattern of Ignore and Forget I am going to have a better life, without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequences on a global and personal level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a ‘better life’ as ‘not having problems’ without realizing that the problem is that one tends to negatively charge situations as ‘problems’ and then, just becoming overwhelmed when being in front of a situation without being able to direct it effectively and efficiently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-manipulated by language/words, because if I approach an event in a neutral/stable stance without calling it a ‘problem’ or ‘situation’ as something  ‘negative’ and instead I call them ‘opportunites’ the whole experience will change, because it will work equally for me to expand myself and for others to become more effective to not to Forget.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that through being someone that Ignores makes me an interesting being who is hard to reach and not easy to decode, without realizing that I am the one who does not know how to reach myself in terms of decoding my own patterns, in order to set myself free from limitations and be able to unconditionally express myself as one and equal.


I will continue...

Comentarios

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Energy-Based Relationships (Day 158)

Today I woke up with this feeling of loss, like I ‘had’ something that I was somehow losing. I realized that it’s energy. It’s the positive energy that I have been unconsciously creating within myself by spending time with X.

The way this came up was as fear; fear of losing, but more specifically, fear of not being ‘loved’ or that everything that X could possibly develop as energy towards myself was decaying. So, in the back of my mind, there was this idea that in order for me to be 'loved'/'liked', I required some energy.
I have realized that this emotional shifts happen when I believe in my thoughts when I am alone or when I judge what X shares with me. These shifts happen very fast and I realize that I activate the pattern but I become aware of it once already being in the emotional reaction.
When this happens, I tend to go “This is not gonna work. They are not feeling the same. They are faking it. This is only a game”, when actually the one that is participating in …