lunes, 30 de noviembre de 2015

Part II: Fear Of Being Alone (Day 121)


This is the continuation of my Previous Post. Here I will walk some self-forgiveness statements in relation to a fear that was activated within myself due to a couple of memories stored in my subconsciouss mind layer.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with fear when realizing that my closest friends had left the place wherein we were, because I felt powerless, empty, uncomfortable – in the same way I did when I was a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that when there’s no one I know next to me I am lost and that I can’t express myself in the same way I would if my friends were with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically react when noticing that my friends had left the place, because I was looking everywhere and becoming anxious while at the same time thinking ‘What should I do now? Should I go with them or should stay here?’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have activated a memory of when I was a child and my mom and my uncle left the place without saying a word and I started crying, I ran away, and reacted with desire for revenge - but this time in my present moment. Therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live every moment as a new moment/opportunity, because I approached my reality from past burdens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I require to be accompanied by someone else to be able to express myself as who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself in front of people I don’t know, because instead of directing myself in the moment I judge all the participants by thinking ‘we are different, they don’t seem to be like me. I don’t want to be here’, without realizing those backchats/thoughts are only a mechanism the mind has to limit self-expression, therefore, if I accept and allow myself to supress myself in such moments, I am just obidiently following my pre-programming instead of transcending that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached a negative connotation to being ‘alone’, because I have separated myself as the words ‘confidence’ and ‘comfortable’, living them through my closest friends without pushing myself towards developing/re-defining and living those words as who I am; one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when there are no friends around, no one will support what I express and thus, I will feel powerless, having no one to support me, without realizing that here I am as who I am, as all, as one, as equal, and thus, I can take self-responsibility and direct myself in self-honesty as self-trust and just express myself unconditionally no matter where I am or with whom I am, instead of suppressing by accepting and allowing myself to be absorbed/blinded by my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that no matter how many people are around me, because I am always here with me, I have myself, I am always all-one (alone), it’s just that as I am not aware of my breathing in every moment that I separate myself from the physical when accepting and allowing myself to be absorbed by my consciousness mind system into memories that activate fears that limit/suppress self-expression here.

Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself reacting with fear because I realize that my friends are not around me and I feel alone, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that the fear was activated because of the memories that are stored in my subconscious mind layer when facing a similar situation.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when being ‘alone’ in a new context in order to ground myself here in the physical and then, just express myself unconditionally just by asking a question or doing something physical to push myself to transcend the fear.  

When and as I see myself thinking that I require my friends to be able to feel ‘confident’ and ‘comfortable’ to express myself, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that I have separated myself as those words by living them through my friends instead of pushing myself to re-define and live those words as who I am here, in every moment of breath.


I commit myself to push myself to interact with new people in new contexts in order to test my ‘confidence’ and to continue investigating/expanding myself in terms of self-expression. 

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