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The Slowest Learner (118)


Some weeks ago I was introduced to a new sort of game. I don’t know if the game has a specific name but what I have noticed is that it is passed from one person to another. The game consists of showing a number with your hands, for instance I show you two fingers but I say ‘If this is 5.. (while showing two fingers) how much is this? (while showing 6 fingers for instance). So at first I approached the game from math, I tried addition and substraction. As the name of the numbers were changed, I then tried to find the pattern in order to get the answer. I even tried guessing with Roman numerals.

Then, some of my friends that were also there started finding the pattern and I was like ‘Damn, I can’t get it!’. I even judged myself as a slow learner. But not only as a slow learner, I mean slower than everyone else. So, THE slowest.

I couldn’t get the answer that day, but I was curious about it. So, I insisted. Everytime I saw the guy that introduced the game I asked him to do it again. Until one day he said ‘I don’t know what happens with you, because you are the slowest one. Everyone else got it, but something weird happened with you. Do you want me to give you the answer?’ and I was like ‘No, I don’t want the answer, just continue doing it’.

Well, I got the answer...finally! After getting the answer I realized that it was not a math game. It used numbers, but it was out of mathematic rules and that’s what it made it so hard that no one can get it the first time, even mathematicians.

The cool realization was that sometimes we approach reality from knowledge and information, based on what we have learned, based on experience, based on the past. But, the only thing that was needed to get the answer was to Listen and Observe. It sounds simple, right? But how often do we REALLY listen and observe? I mean, taking out any ‘logic’, any memory or past experience to see reality for what it is.

I observed and listened to many types of reactions to the game after I learned it and then shared it with other people. Some of them applied the same guessing technique that I used. Some others gave up. Some others said ‘I don’t have time to waste on stupid games’ – This last one was interesting, because it is a very common response we get when we do not understand something. It functions as it follows; I don’t get it, I reject it. But, if you see beyond ‘the game’, the way you approach it tells a lot about people, because it is basically a challenge and something new to address.

Another point that was interesting was that me, ‘the slowest one’ created a new version of the game. I basically upgraded it. It’s not that I want to make a comparison here, but even the ‘fast guys’ that got the answer faster than me - once they knew the answer to the game, then just forgot about it. But I didn’t because I knew that the ‘stupid game’ was more than just a game, because in order to get the answer, you have to deprogram yourself! In other words, you have to unlearn what you have previously learned.

Now – if I have a look at the polarity of fast/slow, it created self-judgment within myself and I saw that the fast guys once they knew the answer were like ‘Come on, it’s very easy! I don’t understand how it is possible that you don’t get it’ – kind of creating a sort of positive feeling on them...superiority.

So – the last point to mention here is that there is something called the learning biorhythm. Each of us learn at different speeds/rhythms and speed does not define - in any way - your so-called ‘intelligence’ or who you really are and what you are capable of doing.

I failed many times, I even ended up in a blank within my mind when trying to find the answers and I judged myself as stupid, because of my learning biorhythm, but you know what, failing is necessary. People tend to see mistakes as something ‘wrong’ and we are domesticated to feel ‘bad’ when we fail, but what I am able to say now is: if you learn from your mistakes because you have been trying and trying instead of giving up, then you will be able to identify where in the process another person is and you can support/encourage them to get to the answers as you have supported yourself within the same process = learning how to learn.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as stupid because I take longer to get a specific point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the judgment and the label ‘stupid’ is the result of a comparison, because I compared myself with others in terms of speed/timing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand that every individual has a different learning biorhythm and that ‘more intelligent’ does not exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that learning faster makes people more intelligent than others, without realizing that fast/slow is a polarity equation that exists within and as the mind consciousness system, therefore, it’s an illusion that in any way supports self-expansion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my self-judgment into other people when thinking that other people think that I am stupid/too slow when it takes me more time than others to understand a specific point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people that are not aware of learning biorhythms are the real stupid ones for believing in a paradigm based on speed to meassure people’s intelligence, without realizing that behind that thought there is me as my mind wanting to compensate the inferiority I previously experienced when not being able to understand the ‘logic’ behind a game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people pretend to be nice and patience when they share something new with me that I am taking longer while within themselves there exists judgment towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to really observe and listen to reality for what it is here, I have to deprogram myself, leaving knowledge and information aside and apply commonsense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach myself to the memory of me being a child and solving a problem in front of the educational psychologist and not understanding the logic behind his game and then telling my mom ‘I understood the game, but I didn’t tell him the right answer, because thought it was too stupid to say it’ and then I judged myself as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger and frustration towards the methods and techniques ‘professionals’ use to meassure people’s IQ when I was a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless when I was a child because I thought that I was misunderstood to the eyes of adults and their norms/rules/mindsets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the same reaction of frustration and anger that I had when I was a child and I had to solve a problem/game in front of the educational psychologist but this time in my current/present moment when facing a similar situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that most of the reactions we have today are the consequence of previous experiences that are stored within the subconscious mind layer as memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach to the memory of me going to visit the educational psychologists because my teacher sent me there, but when the girls assessed me, they said my learning skills were ‘normal’, because I was faster than the other students that required special assistance within their learning processes – and this turning into the current thought of ‘I am the fastest of the stupid ones’.

Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself judging myself as a slow/stupid learner, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that there exist different learning biorhythms and that instead of comparing myself as a polarity manifestation, I can learn from others and focus on my own learning process in order to expand myself without reacting with anger or frustration as I did when I was a child.

I commit myself to only use comparison as a method/tool to expand myself and learn from others without placing myself in the inferior/superior side of the polarity equation.

When and as I see myself defining myself as stupid because I think that I am taking longer to understand a specific point, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that time is an illusion and my learning process has its rhythm and as long as I persist and direct myself towards my utmost potential, there’s no rush.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I am not getting a specific point in order to ground myself here in the physical and observe and listen to reality for what it is, without acting upon memories and self-judgment that in any way supports self-expansion.

When and as I see myself labeling people/myself as intelligent/not intelligent based on speed, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that speed is only one dimension of a whole bunch of dimensions around the learning process and that a person that is fast is not necessarily persistent, self-disciplined and/or curious about learning.


I commit myself to stop judging myself/people based on how fast/slow they learn and instead, I commit myself to focus on how I can practically enhance my skills so as to expand myself into my utmost potential as practical application.

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