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Part III: Walking Away (Day 132)

This is part III continuing with my previous posts:

Walking Away (Day 130)
Part II: Walking Away (Day 131)

So – as I mentioned before, I am forgiving myself for the thoughts/backchats that I have had towards some beings with whom I interacted some days ago where I reacted within myself because I had created an idea/belief of what was happening in that moment due to judging these beings before and then keeping those judgments at the back of my mind, which activated a reactive pattern/persona that was asleep within myself.

Here I am going to take responsibility for the thoughts/backchats/judgments that I have created within my mind consciousness system towards X, in order to realease this accumulated emotional energy towards him to be able to find a solution for me and for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that X judges me through thinking that I am a sort of rich boy who has no idea about life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that X has spoken behind my back in front of his friends that also see me as a rich boy who has had everything I wanted for free in my life without any effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that X is someone who is good at persuading/manipulating people due to his personality and thus, I have believed that he wants to do it with me as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that X is someone who has lots of potential, but as he only wears masks of personalities to persuade people according to the moment he is living, he only deceives himself, without realizing that this is a projection that exists within myself that I have to take responsibility for, instead of pointing fingers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that when X mentions good stuff about me in front of me and others is because he wants to manipulate/persuade me as though he is trying to get something from me, without realizing that this is a mechanism of manipulation that I have developed towards my parents since I was a kid that I am now projecting towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that X is a cynical individual when he gives his place or sacrifices himself to do something good for others as though he is trying to be seen under a certain light instead of doing it ‘from his heart’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and dislike X because he has been able to see through me in the past when he has identified some points that are running within my mind and he has visibilized them in real time and as a consequence, I have felt awkward and/or pushed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that X’s expression is a bit pushy, that’s why I tend to feel manipulated and under stress when he comes with an idea, because as I tend to take my time and he functions in a faster pace, that creates resistance within myself, because I feel that I have have to adapt myself to his pace, which I perceive as me being inferior and him as superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really see X as who he really is and just judge him, because if I am to have a look at my history with this being, he has always worked in a fast and pushy pace, which is something cool that has brought many contributions when it comes to be efficient and effective, because he sees the point and immediately direct it, which is something I don’t do, because I procrastinate a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged X instead of seeing him as who he really is and learn from him, because he has many cool aspects that I could apply within myself, such as being persistent and straight forward when it comes to take an idea and turn it into the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created ideas and beliefs about other human beings in my world, through having thoughts that one suppress but get installed within our secret mind and become the voices and the script that determine how our relationship with other human beings must be, without seeing, realizing and understanding that through acting out those scripts, one activate specific personalities within oneself and then, we end up perpetuating a pre-programmed character instead of living as self-expression, limiting ourselves to see human beings as equals and thus, to understand that everything one reject, resist and judge from others is just simply a projection that reveals what exists within ourselves as an opportunity to stop hiding and blaming, to once for all start changing ourselves and changing the world through taking responsibility for what we are accepting and allowing to exist within our mind consciousness system.


When and as I see myself thinking, believing and perceiving that X wants to manipulate/persuade me, I stop and breathe. I realize that X’s pace is different to mine, therefore, instead of taking things personally...

I commit myself to stop feeling manipulated when someone comes with an idea that must be addressed as soon as possible and instead...

I commit myself to look at the idea instead of placing my reaction upon it or placing myself whether in the superior or inferior pedestal.

When and as I see myself being pushed to do something I don’t want to, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that if I react to what I am being told, then it’s not me who is listening, it’s my ego, therefore...

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I react to someone that I perceive that is pushing me to do something I don’t want to, so as to see the whole spectrum and then make a decision that is not influenced by any emotional reaction.

I commit myself to have a look at what I reject from other human beings in my world, in order to learn from them and see what aspects from them I could apply within myself in order to create a change that’s best for me and for all.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone that approaches me in a fast pace, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that I tend to duplicate human beings expression, therefore I end up accelerating myself, that’s why I don’t feel comfortable, because I am placing my attention on the energy instead of seeing the whole picture.

I commit myself to stop reacting to people that have a faster expression than mine.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I notice that I am becoming stressed due to having someone pushy insteracting with me, in order to calm myself down and be here to direct what it required to be addressed without panic.

I commit myself to express through communication when someone is going too fast in order to let them know that I would like them to go a bit slow, so as to support myself within my interactions with other human beings and equally the other person in case they are not aware of their fast/pushy expression, because in doing this I am treating others as I would like to be treated in case I came up to share an idea full of energy.


Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …