Ir al contenido principal

The Caregiver Archetype (Day 134)


After having a Kinesiology session through muscle testing, I was suggested to have a look at The Caregiver Archetype existing within myself, which is the one who extends care to others to feel good about self, the one that wants recognition and wants to feel needed by others. This archetype also feels better, more equipped and stronger than others when in fact, it is a polarity manifestation which starting point is the suppression of emotions, such as helplessness and powerlessness.

This suppression has manifested physically through pimples on my face, because as the caregiver wants recognition, which is a way it has used to define self-value – when it does not get it, anger ignites within it and so, the pimples that have appeared on my face are the physically manifested consequences.

What was also shown to me through this session was that the caregiver’s traits came from a generational personality through my mother’s lineage, meaning: my grandmother and even 7 generations before me. So, when I was in my mother’s womb, I decided to go with this personality traits.

As far as I know, my grandmother had a tough life, having 9 children, one of them died and she was immersed in physical violence by his husband, but she kind of decided to continue with that for many years because of their children. And this was so because of the perception that being benevolent makes you be closer to ‘god’.

This information was cross-referenced with my mom and this is also a personality that my mom and I have copied from previous generations. It is like ‘I will sacrifice myself, because I don’t matter. The people around me is more important. I am going to sacrifice myself for them, so in being benevolent, people will think I am a good person’, which is quite manipulative.

The problem that I see through having copied this personality is that I have neglected myself, I have not lived the word Care towards myself. I have ignored my own wants and needs, because of believing that people care about me when they say good things about me, when I get the recognition.

This personality has also influenced my goals, because as I prefer doing things for others, my goals are being ignored. In other words; I have cared about others as an excuse to not care about myself.

So, there are some points to address within this personality. The first one is to have a look at the positively charged backchats when I activate the caregiver archetype when I am going to do things for others, which means real time change. And the second one is to redefine three words, which are: Care, Gentle and Resilient.

So, within this post I am going to start with the backchats that I have experienced so far when caring about others and then I am going to apply self-forgiveness on them to slowly but surely deprogram myself from this copied personality.

Backchats:

- If I do this for them, even if it compromises me, it doesn’t matter, because I am doing something good and I can receive it back when I need it.

- They will love me for doing this for them.

- I am sure I will be recognised by doing this.

- I will be remembered as a good person who cares about others.

- Even though I am currently unemployed and have no money, I can be better than those who have money, because I can do good things for everyone.

- They will talk good things about me behind my back.

- They will want to be like me.

- I don’t care if I don’t have money, because my value is in doing good things for others.

- If I do this, I will become a more human person.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “If I do this for them, even if it compromises me, it doesn’t matter, because I am doing something good and I can receive it back when I need it” to exist within and as myself, without seeing, realizing and understanding that in doing so, what I am giving is not unconditional, because I am giving while expecting to have it in return, just like a relationship between banks and people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in caring/giving while expecting something in return, creates my own experience of anger and frustration, because if I don’t get what I have positevily established as my starting point towards caring/giving to others, then I will experience the negative, which is anger and frustration and negative backchats that will later may become a new personality that will activate when communicating/interacting with those who didn’t attached to my expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “They will love me for doing this for them” to exist within and as myself, without seeing, realizing and understanding that  in doing so, I am defining my own self-value as being recognised by others, instead of self-honestly focusing on my own wants and needs to develop self-empowerment without depending on what other people think of me and how they may perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have trusted perception as a method to define myself, because I have created perceptions about people’s behavior towards myself and thus, I want them to perceive me in a certain way that defines me as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to be perceived by other people as someone good that cares about others, without seeing, realizing and understanding that in doing so, the caregiver archetype feeds itself off to be able to continue existing as a duplicated personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “I am sure I will be recognised by doing this” to exist within and as myself, without seeing, realizing and understanding that recognition is not what I need to develop who I am, because recognition is only how others perceive what I do - and how I perceive recognition is only a programmed personality that does not support me, because intead of living care as one within myself, I give myself away to others, because I perceive it as benevolent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being benevolent is a step to change the world, wihout realizing that what this world needs is not a benevolent personality, because personalities exist of polarized energy that is not physically lived unconditionally, because it defines self according to that and expects something in return, such as recognition, god, heaven, etc - just like the caregiver archetype that when it does not get his recognition, reacts emotionally because things aren’t going according to his programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “I will be remembered as a good person who cares about others”, without seeing, realizing and understanding that someone who wants to be remembered as a good person is someone that care about others only as manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every time I care about others as the caregiver personality I am manipulating the people in my environment, because I am caring and doing things for others to feel good, therefore; my payment in return is the ‘feeling good’ experience, without realizing that in expressing myself in order to get a feeling, I am not living the expression unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “Even though I am currently unemployed and have no money, I can be better than those who have money, because I can do good things for everyone” to exist within and as myself, without realizing that in doing this, I am using a ‘good action’ to feel superior/better than others, therefore, an ego manifestation that does not see human beings as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the caregive personality as a weapon to suppress my own helplessness and powerlessness, because I have wanted to compensate those emotions through being ‘good’ and then comparing myself with others in order to give myself value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “They will talk good things about me behind my back” to exist within and as myself, without realizing that in wanting others to say good things about me behind my back is a projection and expectation of the conditions the caregive personality has to perpetuate its existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what others say about me, without realizing that in doing so, the caregiver personality wants control through manipulating what people say as a virus that through a good action gets installed in other beings’ mind systems in order to spread/propagate and feed off from more recognition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “They will want to be like me” to exist within and as myself, without seeing and realizing that I wouldn’t really want people to be a personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “I don’t care if I don’t have money, because my value is in doing good things for others” to exist within and as myself, without seeing and realizing that doing things for others as a personality has no real value within myself, because it is only a ‘feeling good’ experience instead of a principle that I have developed within myself in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the backchat “If I do this, I will become a more human person” to exist within and as myself, without seeing and realizing that in acting out the caregiver personality, I am in fact being less than a human, because it is a copied persona that was programmed just like a computer that only wants to feel good, which is self-interest.

Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself having positevily charged backchats when I am activiating the caregiver personality, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that my starting point towards helping others or doing things for others or caring about others is based on self-interest, because I want to feel good through the recognition people will manifest towards me, which gaves me the wrong idea of ‘self-value’.

I commit myself stop the participation in the caregiver personality through stopping and breathing when I am experiencing positively charged backchats within my mind, in order to approach the moment in a commonsensical way instead of doing it through expecting recognition.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that self-value is about how other people perceive what I do, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that self-value is about caring about myself first, caring about how I am expressing myself and living, not about how I feel through perception when people say good things about me.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that self-value is about people giving me recognition.

I commit myself to give myself value through caring about my own needs and wants first from a self-honest stance, always looking for what is good for me and best for all as one and equal.

When and as I see myself feeling good after I have helped someone or done something for someone, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that the feeling is indicating that the caregiver personality is there feeding off the energy.


I commit myself to stop and breathe when I am feeling good when I have helped someone or have done something for someone, so as to release the energy and thus, slowly but surely deprogram myself from this archetype and start developing myself as the best I can be as real and unconditional support.

Comentarios

  1. Cool blog here, thanks. I also had similar issues, both with being a people pleaser, and with pimples. For the pimples I found that I needed to reduce my sugar intakes, as well as eat less meat, as meat was causing my system to become too acidic.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Yes - I consume lots of sugar and meat. Within re-definition of the words Care and Gentle I am going to consider taking care of my body in terms of what I eat as well. Thanks for the feedback, William!

      Eliminar
    2. Thanks Pablo for sharing this. I had the same outcome of my Kinesiology chat. Still working on this point.

      Eliminar

Publicar un comentario

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …