Reactions While Watching a Soccer Match (Day 144)

Last Sunday I was watching a soccer match where the Chilean team was playing a final match vs Argentina in order to win a cup.

To be honest I have never been into sports or watching sports, but as for many people a soccer match = meeting up, I have ended up watching the soccer matches through meeting up in such moments with my friends.

The people I usually meet to watch the soccer matches are very loud. It’s like they take it too serious and they are very involved with the match and everything around it.

Anyways, the match started and I realized I was quite stable within myself. I was like “wow I feel nothing within myself, they are just playing a soccer match”, this is it.

Suddenly, as long as I started paying more attention to the match and no goals were happening, I started reacting within myself. I was like “Come on guys! No, no, no why did you do that! You had the chance there and you lost it. Oh no, why?”, while within myself I was experiencing a mixture of anxiety, anger, joy, excitment, nervousness, happiness, and frustration.

The point is that it does not matter the way we feel when watching the matches, because the emotions are running in a quantum dimension within ourselves, but the actual match is taking place in the physical. What I mean by this is that it is not necessary to become that emotional. When I say ‘emotional’ that does not mean ‘sad’ as many people may interpret it. ‘Emotional’ meaning all the mind systems I was able to experience within myself as feelings and emotions, such as anxiety, anger, joy, excitment, nervousness, happiness, and frustration.

Those emotional mind states – as far as I have understood – are very addictive. They move according to a polarity dynamic, the same that happens with the match where you have a winner and a loser, where you become happy if you win and sad or frustrated if your team loses. So, it is a constant manifestation of such energies being switched into the negative and the positive polarity within ourselves while watching the matches.

Now – what it’s interesing is to place such dynamics into different fields and see how many contexts or moments can be influenced by this polarity. I mean, it’s not the moment but how we experience such moment because of the relationship we have created to them. You can see the same happening in every relationship we build basically, the relationship we create in bf and gf relationship for instance, where the one that ‘loves more’ is the ‘loser’ and the one that ‘loves less’ is the ‘winner’, because if I love you less than you love me, I have control, I can manipulate you. Of course this dynamics occur when one participate in energy, therefore these are energetic axioms that are not questioned nor desconstructed nor re-defined and nor lived differently, because we just accept them as such by default programming.

I can observe the same dynamics when one listen to music or watch movies, where we do not realize how we are accepting and allowing ourselves to become influenced by our imagination, instead of paying attention to the lyrics/words, the instruments, etc. One automatically and by default programming tend to give more importance to the experience that one is able to generate within self than what is really here.

I have been involved in listening to a song that I like over and over again while playing with my imagination and generating positive experiences within myself. One can literally get lost within imagination and waste lots of energy in doing that while in the physical, nothing is moving.

The problem that I see with these dynamics is that once there are no more resources from where to get such experiences, then we are shifted into the other polarity side of the equation. You know, we win or lose, that’s how the mind works. So what happens when you have built a relationship with another person based on energetic experiences and then you can’t generate more? That relationship ends, because “I don’t feel the same anymore”. So, such dynamics are not unconditional and are dependent on the generation of energy to be able to exist.

Same thing with masturbation and porn for instance. I mean, one does not masturbate always watching the same video. So, such dynamics tend to escalate in a desperate attempt to continue existing and experiencing an orgasm as the positive reward for the domesticated individual.

So yes, always looking for the orgasmic experience in everything. I guess that describes more or less the relationship one creates with everything when we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be directed by energy. We want to get an orgasm while watching a soccer match, we want to get an orgasm while going out with friends, we want to get an orgasm when we listen to music, we want to get an orgasm when arguing with people, we want to get an orgasm when we watch movies, etc. But life is not an orgasm, therefore, if you are looking for an orgasm in every relationship you create, you are not living as yourself and for yourself as who one really is beyond a mind programming.

Will continue...