Ir al contenido principal

Learning from Leaders (Day 152)



This morning I was on the bus going to work and as usual there were lots of passengers. The bus was full and I had to travel standing on my feet which I am used to and it’s not a big deal. The point is that when I got in the bus, I noticed a man that was giving the passengers instructions in order to all be able to fit in. 

I was listening to music with headphones and this man said something I couldn’t hear, so I took out the headphones and asked “what?”, and he suggested me to take out my backpack and hold it with my hand so the backpack was not going to use too much space.

I noticed that when this man talked to me I had this backchats "Is he talking to me? I don't know him. Who does he think he is? Why should I obey?"

At first, I didn’t do what he said and instead moved next to a seat and asked “here it’s fine, right?”. Then, I questioned my reaction to him by realizing that what activated in that moment was superiority and my rebel/stubborn character, where I would make it personal instead of seeing the common sense in this man’s words.


Then, once I realized I had reacted, I started thinking “hang on, this guy is a leader. He is just trying to help”.

It’s interesting how easy one in one moment make things personal and the main point becomes judging, blaming, victimizing, backchatting, because one is misinterpreting everything.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things personal instead of seeing the practicality and the common sense of what is being said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am ‘more than’ the man that was helping the bus driver with the passengers, because within myself I reacted with backchats where I went “I don’t know this man, so he must not even talk to me”, without seeing, realizing and understanding that there’s no need to be like that, because I am not that ‘especial’ or ‘untouchable’ person, plus the main point of what was being said to me was a suggestion and in any way in a rude manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret a suggestion by someone I don’t know as though they were imposing their wants and needs on me, without realizing that if I have previously judged someone or have that premise existing within myself of “if I don’t know you, you can’t talk to me”, I am only becoming absolute, limited and blind, because I am filtering the information through the mind/ego instead of immediately applying what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat towards that man “Does he think he knows? Does he feel powerful by doing this?”, without realizing that in doing that, I was only projecting the shit that exists within myself towards him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what’s best for all and instead, make things personal by activating characters that limit my comprehension and practical application. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason why I judged this man was because within myself I knew he was leading in some way and as leading in my expression still requires some work, I was judging that which I do not have developed within and without.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that many things that I judge from other people are skills that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to polish.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that through judging and activating characters, I am limiting myself from learning and seeing the common sense in other people’s deeds. 

Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself making things personal when someone is making a suggestion, I stop and breathe. I realize that if I am reacting it’s because I am not grounded here, and instead, a character has activated which inhibits me from seeing the common sense and learn.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I start making things personal so as to see the common sense and the practicality of what has been said.

When and as I see myself perceiving myself as this untouchable person that no one can dare to talk to if we don’t know each other, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is ego manifesting, because if I am in a public place, I have to be aware of how I can contribute and make things better for me and everyone involved.

I commit myself to stop perceiving myself as though I am untouchable and that no one can talk to me in order to become more open and thus, be able to live instead of perpetuating pre-programming.

When and as I see myself reacting; thinking and believing that someone is imposing their wants and needs on me in order for me to ‘obey’, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am predisposing myself from a negative approach, instead of seeing, listening, learning, and applying.

I commit myself to stop thinking that when people randomly talk to me to make a suggestion is because they are imposing their ideas on me for me to obey.

I commit myself to first listen and see what I am being told, instead of automatically activating a pattern when someone I don’t know talks to me.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing “they must feel powerful by leading”, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that I am projecting my shit onto them; meaning, I am the one that looks for power by leading, as well as recognition and a sense of superiority, that’s why leading has not become an unconditional part of myself that I live in every moment, otherwise, I would immediately acknowledge when someone is leading and I would contribute and ‘do unto them as I would have them done onto me’.

I commit myself to stop looking for power, superiority and recognition when I am leading through an idea that involves everyone.

I commit myself to be open in relation to those I see leading in order to learn from them and thus, be able to apply and live it within my life.


I commit myself to support those ones that lead, because in doing so I would be applying and living the principle of equality, which means that by the time I am leading, I would like to be supported as well, therefore it’s me the one that must give that step forward first in order to become a living example.  

Comentarios

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Energy-Based Relationships (Day 158)

Today I woke up with this feeling of loss, like I ‘had’ something that I was somehow losing. I realized that it’s energy. It’s the positive energy that I have been unconsciously creating within myself by spending time with X.

The way this came up was as fear; fear of losing, but more specifically, fear of not being ‘loved’ or that everything that X could possibly develop as energy towards myself was decaying. So, in the back of my mind, there was this idea that in order for me to be 'loved'/'liked', I required some energy.
I have realized that this emotional shifts happen when I believe in my thoughts when I am alone or when I judge what X shares with me. These shifts happen very fast and I realize that I activate the pattern but I become aware of it once already being in the emotional reaction.
When this happens, I tend to go “This is not gonna work. They are not feeling the same. They are faking it. This is only a game”, when actually the one that is participating in …