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Vulnerable (Day 154)





Within my previous post I mentioned some words that emerged when exploring the dynamics of developing an effective communication. These words were: Vulnerable, Control, and Trust.

So, in this post I am going to start off with exploring the word Vulnerable.

The dictionary defines the word Vulnerable as the following:

1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

2. (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection, because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

I mentioned that I had approached the word Vulnerable as a synonym of ‘Weak’; meaning, I had charged the word negatively throughout my life, because in seeing someone as being vulnerable I would picture within myself a lotus flower in the water being exposed for anyone to come, grab it and destroy it - and the flower existing in fear in the back of its ‘mind’.

On the one hand; Fear of being destroyed by someone else. And - on the other hand; Hope of being ‘discovered’ by someone that would take care of it in order to support its growth into its utmost potential. Like being in a sort of Russian Roulette game of two options; live or die.

So, in the past, I instead of exposing myself within Fear and Hope = insecurity - I'd rather choose to become hermetic through suppressing my expression, avoiding to place myself in the unknown/uncertain.

Also, there is the influence of the collective dimension in relation to “Being vulnerable in this world is dangerous, because everybody wants to take advantage of you through self-interest”.

But, what I haven’t taken into consideration is the fact that if I support myself in relation to my thoughts, feelings and emotions, as well as releasing energetic charges, and re-define the words that I have accepted in a pre-fabricated format to influence my expression throughout my life, what would be exposed through that vulnerableness as openness, wouldn’t be weakness, but self-trust as the realization that I have the tools to change myself and stop self-abuse so as to walk step by step into self-expansion, especially in the way I express myself in relation to others, which it would become a contribution instead of suppression due to insecurity.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have charged the word Vulnerable negatively, because of the idea and perception that was installed within my mind of “If I want to be strong, I must not be Vulnerable”.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if there exists fear of being vulnerable it’s because of self-judgement existing within myself, because that self-judgment inhibits me from transcending the points that once corrected, will lead me into the developing of an effective way of expressing myself when it comes to my relationship with myself and others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “If I expose myself in front of them, they are going to think I am weird”, without realizing that even the ‘stupid comments’ I make can become support for me and other people once the point opens up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that the people around me will respond to myself in the way I think, which is judgment projection, without realizing that if I don’t try it, there’s no way I can find out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself without even first giving it a try.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I can be both; vulnerable and strong; meaning, I can become stronger as who I am through developing openness in relation to myself in the way I explore and change myself in self-honesty according to what plays out in the physical world by first ‘cleaning’ myself within, so as to be able to clean communication without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being Vulnerable, because I feared being weak in front of others, without seeing, realizing and understanding that the fear was the output of defining myself through an already fabricated definition of the word Vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that words are like clothes; meaning, when clothes are too big or there is something that makes it uncomfortable, you can re-adapt it in order to make fit according to your body size; fitting in what’s real/physical instead of wearing/using the standardized version only because it’s easier and everyone else does.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in changing the definitions of the words in order to support myself into my utmost potential; I am making an impact in my reality, because words create the world, therefore, if I work on re-adjusting the language I live as words, as every single word I am struggling with, I will be making the message of what’s best for all real; one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that that which I fear exposing about myself through being vulnerable is something that I can be glad of sharing about me once I change who I am within; meaning, if I become self-trust, why would I fear exposing self-trust as an unconditional expression of myself?

Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself fearing being seen as weak by others and judging myself as a Vulnerable person that would rather prefer to suppress self-expression so as to present self as strong instead of going into insecurity = fear and hope - I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that actually suppression is weakness, because in exposing myself to myself - by clearing my mind as the words I have defined myself within - I become strong as self-trust.

I commit myself to stop fear being exposed.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that being vulnerable is a synonym of weakness. 

I commit myself to exposing myself to myself through self-writing in order to explore and re-define the words that I have accepted and allowed to determine the way I experience and express myself in this world by accepting the pre-fabricated definition provided by dictionaries, the media, the collective mind, etc.

When and as I see myself fearing to expose myself, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that if I am fearing something it’s because I have to introspect and investigate myself within in order to transform it into potential and thus, in every step within exploring myself, it will become a +1 in the developing of self-trust as who I decide to be beyond any pre-fabricated definition, because I have the tools to transform myself into my utmost potential.

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself.

I commit myself to investigating myself when there’s a point of doubt, fear or insecurity existing within myself in relation to communication.

I commit myself to enhance any point I see is interfering in my expression to create effective communication / relationships with me and others as well.

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