Ir al contenido principal

Who am I within ‘Problems’? (Day 157)


I was listening to some individual and the following question came up “Do you want to be in a relationship despite having to face problems that will emerge and that will make you feel unstable?”.

When I was listening to that I noticed that many people tend to have a pre-fabricated idea/opinion/perception of what ‘problems’ entail. This is from an emotional approach of course. As though talking face to face was already a ‘problem’ per se. Therefore, what I see is that it is very easy to be conditioned to approach situations in an emotional state before really walking through it.

The way I see ‘problems’; meaning, when you sit in front of one another and talk about something that came up within yourself or something that you observed that can be aligned towards what’s best for all - I see them as doors/opportunities to transcend specific patterns that are ingrained within ourselves that influence the way we create relationships, especially the relationship we have built with ourselves.

Plus, there is also this idea that everything must be ‘positive’ in relationships, so when you perceive that something ‘negative’ has taken place, such as a ‘problem’ = a moment you have to share your perspective - you end up trapped in polarity, ups and downs, which will affect the way you express yourself in your external world, because your decisions are dependent on how you feel, instead of already having a clear starting point in relation to Who You Are within ‘problems’. But, as you have conditioned yourself to perceive opportunities to communicate as ‘negative’, thoughts in relation to wanting to give up appear where you, instead of facing it, you want to run away, without realizing that that which you refuse to see beyond, will come back to you for you to transcend that point. So, the sooner you transcend that which you resist, the more efficient and effective your process will be.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that ‘problems’ are negative/bad and that I must avoid them in order to be happy and emotionally stable.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it’s impossible to be emotionally stable within communication when facing ‘problems’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the way I am approaching problems in a negative way it’s because of past relationships where after having ‘problems’ the relationship went into breakups, then come back together again and so on - ending in a loop/bucle that never lead into a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the past influence my current expression in the present moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when my starting point in facing problems is not clear, the mind will decide for me what I think, how I feel and how I experience myself, instad of me being the one who stands up with a clear stance of addressing problems as Gifts and Opportunities to align ourselves towards that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up when facing problems because as I see them as bad/negative, I think and believe that the only solution to be emotionally stable again is through walking away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that problems will always happen and as long as I know who I am in facing problems, I will be able to have a clear stance and thus, see the opportunities to be aligned with that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the way I feel when facing problems is my responsibility and that if I become unstable within it, it has nothing to do with the other person or the problem per se, but the way I accept and allow myself to react.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in order to avoid problems and becoming emotionally unstable, I must be alone, without realizing that I can also transcend those patterns by walking with another person in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed in this limiting approach towards problems throughout all this time, without realizing that I can direct and change the relationship that I have towards my thoughts, feelings and emotions in order to not accept and allow myself to be governed by the mind system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not govern myself and instead, subconsciously/unconsciously let my mind decide for me the way I am going to experience myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the statement “I don’t want to have problems” as an excuse in order to walk away and avoid having to talk face to face with someone so as to share our perspectives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when using the excuse “I don’t want to have problems, therefore I should be alone by myself”, I am limiting myself to change my approach in facing problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am going to lose something/someone when facing problems. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get confused within problems, because the emotional reaction leads me into ups and downs where I doubt, feel insecure, without realizing that I am experiencing myself as such, because I am not giving myself direction and a clear stance regardless the problem/situation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the way my body language changes when I am participating in an emotional reaction within facing problems, because I become distant, my body becomes rigid and my arms become crossed, which means that I am closed and hermetic instead of opening up myself.

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself approaching problems from an emotional reaction, which leads into feeling overwhelmed like about collapsing, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating that reaction within myself, without understanding that the way I am feeling it’s because of the thoughts that my mind showed me, then I believed them, and finally I ended up experiencing myself from an emotional reaction. 

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I am starting to become overwhelmed when facing problems in order to release the energy that has been building up.

I commit myself to stop believing in my thoughts and backchats that dictate the way I feel within communication.

When and as I see myself defining problems as something bad or negative, I stop and breathe. I realize that by defining problems as something bad/negative, I am pre-conditioning my own experience within communication, which will lead into emotional reactions.

I commit myself to stop seeing problems as something bad/negative.

I commit myself to approach problems as opportunities to change myself and thus, become the best version of me.

When and as I see myself wanting to give up because I think that I must be alone in order to avoid having problems and feeling bad, I stop and breathe. I realize that problems will always happen, in all contexts, therefore, the decision doesn’t necessarily have to be in relation to give up, but instead breathing through the problem, walking and pushing through it in order to change the resistance into openness. 

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that I must be alone in order to avoid having problems or feeling bad.

I commit myself to investigate in self-honesty why it is that I feel bad when facing problems.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that I am going to lose something/someone when having problems, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that once problems are addressed through effective communication where there are no thoughts, feelings and emotions interfering, there’s nothing to lose, because what you gain is a new perspective that supports you to see reality with more clarity and thus, learn something new from yourself and others.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that I am going to lose something/someone when having problems.

I commit myself to be open to learn something new from myself and others when facing problems. 

I commit myself to make it a principle to be open to see, listen and learn when facing problems in all contexts. 

When and as I see myself feeling insecure within communication when facing problems, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am FEELING insecure, therefore, it’s only something that came up within my mind, it’s only a thought that I believed that activated a whole pattern, which means that I am unconsciously deciding to feel insecure instead of giving myself direction so as to find solutions.

I commit myself to approach problems in a way that I can contribute with solutions that are best for all.

When and as I see myself becoming crossed, closed and hermetic when reacting emotionally within communication when facing problems, I stop and breathe. I realize that I can change my expression in that moment; I can take a deep in breath and then an our breath, in order to ground myself here in the physical, open myself to become intimate with myself and thus, be able to interact with others once I am clear within myself.

I commit myself to become aware of my body language when I am participating in emotional reactions when facing problems within communication.


I commit myself to support myself through changing my body posture into a more opened one when I am crossed due to participating in emotional reactions when facing problems. 

Comentarios

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Energy-Based Relationships (Day 158)

Today I woke up with this feeling of loss, like I ‘had’ something that I was somehow losing. I realized that it’s energy. It’s the positive energy that I have been unconsciously creating within myself by spending time with X.

The way this came up was as fear; fear of losing, but more specifically, fear of not being ‘loved’ or that everything that X could possibly develop as energy towards myself was decaying. So, in the back of my mind, there was this idea that in order for me to be 'loved'/'liked', I required some energy.
I have realized that this emotional shifts happen when I believe in my thoughts when I am alone or when I judge what X shares with me. These shifts happen very fast and I realize that I activate the pattern but I become aware of it once already being in the emotional reaction.
When this happens, I tend to go “This is not gonna work. They are not feeling the same. They are faking it. This is only a game”, when actually the one that is participating in …