Ir al contenido principal

From Control to Self-Control (Day 159)


I have observed that in deeper layers within my consciousness there exists this desire for control that comes from ‘good intentions’, like as though in having control of my environment, people's behavior, and how things play out, I am going to succeed so to speak.

What I have noticed is that the more I want control, the more I am out of control. This is separation, it’s me wanting to look for control outside, in my external world, because I fear that things won’t work out. Therefore, the starting point of me wanting to have control comes from fear. And the fear activates because I am not applying or living self-control.

I have realized that the way one reacts pretty much determines the output, whether something unexpected took place or when someone approaches us from a ‘negative’ stance, which means that if I am living self-control, my reaction in relation to anything that may play out in my environment - through my self-controlled ‘reaction’ - will be easier to address and thus, the outcome will be more ‘controlled’ if you will, because I as who I am, will be creating control of myself and my own mind from within to without.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have control, because I think and believe that if I do not have control, then the outcome will be ‘negative’. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in having control over everything I am going to have a better life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can control everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can control people’s actions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have looked for control out of myself, without realizing that in doing so I am participating in separation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for control out of myself, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only control that is real is self-control; meaning, controlling my own mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions that create the ‘out of control’ experience that leads into desperately wanting to look for control out of oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that control outside can give me self-control.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting point of wanting to have control is fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed in fear and then, go into wanting to have control as though in having control I was going to feel better and stable.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that becoming stable and grounded starts with self. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on control, because I think and believe that in having control, everything will be better, without realizing that that type of control which starting point is fear, only creates polarity, because it’s based on self-interest; on what’s ‘positive’ to me and what’s apparently positive to others according to the same self-interest and fear.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I can’t have control over everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached myself to the word control without learning how to let it go.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this world is in fact out of control through everyone wanting to have control not only over their own lives, but the lives of others as well, without taking into consideration the consequences such actions create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go out of control if I do not have control, without realizing that in doing so, I am trapping myself within and as polarity equations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone out of control when there’s some information that I do not know, because I become obsessed with it and can’t ground myself, because I go into what ifs, imagination, and projections, instead of breathing in, breathing out and realize that if there’s something I want to know, I can just take my time, go to that person once I am stable, and ask, without necessarily becoming desperate and going into a quantum spiralling

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself wanting to have control over my external world or over people’s actions/behavior, I stop and breathe. I realize that when I desire to have that control it’s because I am actually myself going out of control and the attempt to want some control comes from the fear of failing.

I commit myself to become self-control instead of looking for control outside.

I commit myself to live self-control through getting to know my own mind, how to stop my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings, and also through self-writing, which is the best way to change my own mind.

When and as I see myself going out of control because I desperately want to control something/someone, I stop and breathe. I realize that in that moment I have to breathe and calm myself down, because I am not living self-control, that’s why I want to look for it outside.

I commit myself to remind myself that the only control that is real is self-control and that no matter how hard I try, it’s impossible for me to have absolute control over situations/people’s behavior.

I commit myself to live self-control and make it a part of myself, because in doing so, I become a living example of the word control from where other people can also see and learn instead of me trying to change their minds from the starting point of fear of failing.

When and as I see myself becoming obsessed/desperate and going into a quantum spiraling when I do not know specific information about something/someone, I stop and breathe. I realize that in that moment I have lost absolute control of myself, because I have become obsessed, in fear, going into imaginations, and projections, like saying “Mind, you take responsibility for me”, instead of me standing up and direct my inner reality so I can see the outside more clearly; for what it is and not for what my mind thinks it is.

I commit myself to calm myself down through breathing when I am becoming obsessed and desperate because I do not know specific information about something/someone.

I commit myself to write down or sound self-forgiveness when I see myself participating in the desire for control over things/people. 


I commit myself to place the focus on myself in order to start developing self-control through knowing how to deal with my own mind instead of wanting to control others’.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that I can control things/people’s behavior. 

Comentarios

  1. You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing. I'm a life coach blogger. Reading blogs is my hobby and I randomly found your blog. I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging endeavors. Please keep in touch with me in Google+, +sridharchandrasekaran Twitter @lifecoachbloger

    ResponderEliminar

Publicar un comentario

Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …