martes, 28 de febrero de 2017

Part II: When You See Only What You Want to See (Day 163)


This is the continuation of my previous post. Here I go with the Self-Forgiveness statements as well as the Self-Corrective Statements.


Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get distracted by thoughts and emotions due to certain events that have taken place in my life when listening to information being shared, without realizing that in doing so, I am creating misinterpretations when I get back to paying attention again, because I am not listening to the whole timeline of what is being shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get used to be absorbed by the emotional energy that I have attached to my problems and instead of paying attention to what is being shared, I go into imaginations in relation to my problems which create more and more emotional energy and I get more and more distracted from physical reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop my participation in the emotional energy when I am being absorbed by it, because even though I can write it down and sort it out, I just rather go into feeling/positive energy by thinking other stuff that make me feel better, instead of standing up, leaving all the energy aside and bring forward my awareness/expression as a being in the presence of myself as who I decide to be in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know who I am in such situations where I am being absorbed by emotional energy, because I just let the emotional energy to define me where my expression is non existent. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the consequences that being distracted due to participating in my mind can be, because I can create a whole alternate reality which is a mixture of what is within my mind and the information being shared in my present moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am an objective person, without realizing that in saying that, I am already creating a belief/idea about myself - and in doing so; in defining myself as the mind, I am limiting self instead of expanding, because I am only seeing myself as an idea that exists in a quantum ‘reality’ and not as physical and practical action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind when people are sharing information with me, because I got used to do that when I have issues that concerns me, so it has become a pattern where in a quantum moment, my being is channelled into my mind system and even my body language changes, because I sit in a comfortable position - almost like ready to sleep - and then, one of my hands immediately go to my hair and I start playing with it and I take a passive stance instead of pushing myself to participate more and paying attention so I can provide some feedback and deal with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the more I go into this pattern, the less I am able to see reality, because what I am doing when ‘I believe what I want to believe’ is that I am thinking instead of seeing - and thinking is only mind programming, which is a biased version of reality that inhibits me from being objective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do unto others as I would have them done unto me, because when I share myself, I like to be paid attention and hearing/reading some feedbacks, which is something that I am unable to do when going into my mind, because I am more distracted in building energy through imaginations while people are speaking, instead of paying attention to what is going on here in physical reality.

Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself getting distracted because I go into my mind and build energy for imaginations based on problems I am facing, I stop and breathe. I realize that in doing that, I am only existing in a mind reality instead of being here, which leads into me not paying attention to what’s going on in my world, for instance, people sharing interesting insights and wanting some feedback from me, which is unacceptable, because in doing that I am not living the principle of give as you would like to receive.

I commit myself to explore and re-define the word Presence in order to find and apply solutions for the next time I see myself facing a similar situation, because I have realized that in such moments I don’t know who I am and I am only defined by the mind.

When and as I see myself going into positive energy when facing problems that create negative emotions within myself, I stop and breathe. I realize that in doing so, I am only believing that I am fine and that everything will be fixed, instead of me directing myself and creating solutions that are real, concrete and practical. 


I commit myself to stop myself and breathe once I am going into the other side of the polarity equation, in order for me to sound self-forgiveness and take note on the points that I would like to explore through self-writing and thus, find a real solution to my problems.

viernes, 24 de febrero de 2017

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)


Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.

So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 

It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was thinking of without even knowing where that information shared came from as a timeline to really understand what the person wanted to share from the beginning.

This has happened to me several times since last week and I can tell that’s because I have been keeping my mind preoccupied and that, creating intense emotions within myself that lead into imaginations, thoughts, inner dialogues, etc. while listening to other people, where I lose touch with what is here in my reality.

On the one hand, I realize that this is unacceptable because I am twisting information and then, once I believed what I wanted to believe, it leads me into acting in a certain way, making specific decisions, having specific thoughts/backchats - all biased because of misunderstanding the initial piece of information due to being distracted.


And on the other hand, this is not respectful also for the people I interact with, because I have even had to tell them “Wait a minute, I missed what you were saying” and they again have to repeat themselves, which is something that I wouldn’t like to be done onto me, because everyone wants to be paid attention when sharing, right?

Another dimension that I am able to see is that sometimes I believe what I want to believe because I already was approaching the new information from a belief that I myself created within myself. 


For instance when you go self-righteous about your interpretation in relation to others, and then, the next information only functions as more ‘evidence’ against them, like all they shared only adds more and more layers that won’t let me see reality, because they function as justifications for me to continue believing what I believe and as excuses for them, because in my mind they are only avoiding to be honest about a specific point, when actually the one that is not being honest with me is myself, because I was the one that immediately jumped into conclusions/assumptions instead of taking that information back to myself; acknowledging that I went into a reaction, giving a step back, breathing, releasing the emotional energy and when the energy's gone, approach the situation again once clear and stable within myself - and thus, avoid to be biased and creating an alternate reality within and as my mind system.

I will continue with the self-forgiveness statements on my next post. 

viernes, 3 de febrero de 2017

Judging The Way that I am Being Approached (Day 161)


Some days ago I started having reactions towards someone that is visiting the house where I am currently living. This reactions were justified by me because apparently they had something ‘against me’. For instance when I asked questions or shared some information, their face would frown and I went within myself “Are they judging me? Probably they don’t like me. Have I done anything that made them go that way? Because this person didn’t have those reactions towards me in the past”.

What was confusing to me was that this person then had ‘nice intentions’, for instance inviting me to eat and things like that. Then, what happened was that I noticed that this person started talking to me more, but I judged them as ‘violent’/'hostile'. For instance they would see me and say “good night” when I was getting out of my room when it was actually morning.

Here in my country when you say “good night” and it’s not night, it’s because you are trying to tell the other person that they woke up late or that they are lazy. So, I would took their words personally. And then again, “Hey if you want to eat, do it, there’s plenty of food. Oh and tomorrow we will cook this and that and you can come”.


So, what I have realized so far is that I had conditioned myself to approach this person as though they were judging me, that’s why I didn’t feel comfortable around them. I realized “Hey, maybe they are just trying to be nice/friendly and that’s the way they are nice. It’s just that their jokes are not funny to me”.

So, I was placing all my interpretations about them as though I was right. Then, what I did was to observe this person. I observed how they would behave in front of other people and yes, same thing, also the frown, so I thought “Maybe this person does those gestures without even being aware of it. It could also be a tic”. For instance I have seen that sometimes people that wear glasses frown in an attempt to place the glasses in the right position without using their hands.

Therefore, what I had to do was to drop the idea that I had about this person and understand that what I thought about them could be a possibility, but that there were also other possibilities that I wasn’t considering. So, instead of becoming hermetic, I would share with them more, trying to understand their jokes and also support them when it came to cooking and helping within the dynamics of the house.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged someone that had a frown as though they didn’t like what I was saying/doing, without realizing that maybe they just wanted to see me better by adjusting their glasses. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken this person’s frown personally and then, I started activating personalities when I was around them, for instance, the defiant character, where I would go very close to their face when they were saying jokes in an attempt to say “Here I am, what do you have to say?” while at the same time my body would become tense/rigid and then, as I couldn’t handle the awkwardness, I stopped looking into this person’s eyes and placed my hands in my pocket and then, tried to get out of there and avoid having contact with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my interpretations about people as though what comes up within my mind was absolutely accurate, without realizing that I was giving value to my interpretations because I had previously judged this person’s behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone else’s sense of humor as violent, as though they were trying to impose their lifestyle into me by trying to say I was lazy or that I should get up earlier, without realizing that I can also make fun of it and address the situation from a different perspective without taking things personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand that the more I believe in my interpretations, the more I would participate in backchats and then, personalities will be activated and my ‘expression’ will be part of programming instead of being me the one who express myself out of any personalities that inhibit me from getting in touch with the real being that’s in front of me besides their behavior or sense of humor.


Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself taking personally someone else’s facial expressions, I stop and breathe. I realize that a frown can come from different reasons and it does not necessarily mean that people are judging me.

I commit myself to stop taking frowns as though people were judging me and instead, I commit myself to open myself to get to know them better, placing myself in their shoes and if there’s something that compromises me somehow, share it through communication.

When and as I see myself reacting to jokes that according to my perception function as an attempt to change my lifestyle, I stop and breathe. I realize that people have different way of approaching others. Sometimes people try to be friendly but they create the opposite. Sometimes people struggle when trying to come closer to you.

I commit myself to stop taking jokes personally when I think and believe that they are trying to change or making fun of my lifestyle.

I commit myself to change my approach to such people that I have judged through my interpretation, for instance, approaching them as I would like to be approached, so they can see who I am and that it’s not necessary to start communication always by saying jokes about what you do.

When and as I see myself believing in my interpretations about other people, I stop and breathe. I realize that the more I believe in my interpretations, more backchats and misinterpretations will come up, because I am not question my mind, but only giving it the power to determine for me how reality functions.


I commit myself to release the thoughts, backchats and interpretations I have about other people when I judge their facial gestures or the way they behave or the way they talk to me through self-forgiveness in order for me to be able to get to know them better and enhance our communication/interactions.