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Judging The Way that I am Being Approached (Day 161)


Some days ago I started having reactions towards someone that is visiting the house where I am currently living. This reactions were justified by me because apparently they had something ‘against me’. For instance when I asked questions or shared some information, their face would frown and I went within myself “Are they judging me? Probably they don’t like me. Have I done anything that made them go that way? Because this person didn’t have those reactions towards me in the past”.

What was confusing to me was that this person then had ‘nice intentions’, for instance inviting me to eat and things like that. Then, what happened was that I noticed that this person started talking to me more, but I judged them as ‘violent’/'hostile'. For instance they would see me and say “good night” when I was getting out of my room when it was actually morning.

Here in my country when you say “good night” and it’s not night, it’s because you are trying to tell the other person that they woke up late or that they are lazy. So, I would took their words personally. And then again, “Hey if you want to eat, do it, there’s plenty of food. Oh and tomorrow we will cook this and that and you can come”.


So, what I have realized so far is that I had conditioned myself to approach this person as though they were judging me, that’s why I didn’t feel comfortable around them. I realized “Hey, maybe they are just trying to be nice/friendly and that’s the way they are nice. It’s just that their jokes are not funny to me”.

So, I was placing all my interpretations about them as though I was right. Then, what I did was to observe this person. I observed how they would behave in front of other people and yes, same thing, also the frown, so I thought “Maybe this person does those gestures without even being aware of it. It could also be a tic”. For instance I have seen that sometimes people that wear glasses frown in an attempt to place the glasses in the right position without using their hands.

Therefore, what I had to do was to drop the idea that I had about this person and understand that what I thought about them could be a possibility, but that there were also other possibilities that I wasn’t considering. So, instead of becoming hermetic, I would share with them more, trying to understand their jokes and also support them when it came to cooking and helping within the dynamics of the house.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged someone that had a frown as though they didn’t like what I was saying/doing, without realizing that maybe they just wanted to see me better by adjusting their glasses. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken this person’s frown personally and then, I started activating personalities when I was around them, for instance, the defiant character, where I would go very close to their face when they were saying jokes in an attempt to say “Here I am, what do you have to say?” while at the same time my body would become tense/rigid and then, as I couldn’t handle the awkwardness, I stopped looking into this person’s eyes and placed my hands in my pocket and then, tried to get out of there and avoid having contact with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my interpretations about people as though what comes up within my mind was absolutely accurate, without realizing that I was giving value to my interpretations because I had previously judged this person’s behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone else’s sense of humor as violent, as though they were trying to impose their lifestyle into me by trying to say I was lazy or that I should get up earlier, without realizing that I can also make fun of it and address the situation from a different perspective without taking things personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand that the more I believe in my interpretations, the more I would participate in backchats and then, personalities will be activated and my ‘expression’ will be part of programming instead of being me the one who express myself out of any personalities that inhibit me from getting in touch with the real being that’s in front of me besides their behavior or sense of humor.


Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself taking personally someone else’s facial expressions, I stop and breathe. I realize that a frown can come from different reasons and it does not necessarily mean that people are judging me.

I commit myself to stop taking frowns as though people were judging me and instead, I commit myself to open myself to get to know them better, placing myself in their shoes and if there’s something that compromises me somehow, share it through communication.

When and as I see myself reacting to jokes that according to my perception function as an attempt to change my lifestyle, I stop and breathe. I realize that people have different way of approaching others. Sometimes people try to be friendly but they create the opposite. Sometimes people struggle when trying to come closer to you.

I commit myself to stop taking jokes personally when I think and believe that they are trying to change or making fun of my lifestyle.

I commit myself to change my approach to such people that I have judged through my interpretation, for instance, approaching them as I would like to be approached, so they can see who I am and that it’s not necessary to start communication always by saying jokes about what you do.

When and as I see myself believing in my interpretations about other people, I stop and breathe. I realize that the more I believe in my interpretations, more backchats and misinterpretations will come up, because I am not question my mind, but only giving it the power to determine for me how reality functions.


I commit myself to release the thoughts, backchats and interpretations I have about other people when I judge their facial gestures or the way they behave or the way they talk to me through self-forgiveness in order for me to be able to get to know them better and enhance our communication/interactions.

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