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Part II: When You See Only What You Want to See (Day 163)

This is the continuation of my previous post. Here I go with the Self-Forgiveness statements as well as the Self-Corrective Statements.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get distracted by thoughts and emotions due to certain events that have taken place in my life when listening to information being shared, without realizing that in doing so, I am creating misinterpretations when I get back to paying attention again, because I am not listening to the whole timeline of what is being shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get used to be absorbed by the emotional energy that I have attached to my problems and instead of paying attention to what is being shared, I go into imaginations in relation to my problems which create more and more emotional energy and I get more and more distracted from physical reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop my participation in the emotional energy when I am being absorbed by it, because even though I can write it down and sort it out, I just rather go into feeling/positive energy by thinking other stuff that make me feel better, instead of standing up, leaving all the energy aside and bring forward my awareness/expression as a being in the presence of myself as who I decide to be in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know who I am in such situations where I am being absorbed by emotional energy, because I just let the emotional energy to define me where my expression is non existent. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the consequences that being distracted due to participating in my mind can be, because I can create a whole alternate reality which is a mixture of what is within my mind and the information being shared in my present moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am an objective person, without realizing that in saying that, I am already creating a belief/idea about myself - and in doing so; in defining myself as the mind, I am limiting self instead of expanding, because I am only seeing myself as an idea that exists in a quantum ‘reality’ and not as physical and practical action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind when people are sharing information with me, because I got used to do that when I have issues that concerns me, so it has become a pattern where in a quantum moment, my being is channelled into my mind system and even my body language changes, because I sit in a comfortable position - almost like ready to sleep - and then, one of my hands immediately go to my hair and I start playing with it and I take a passive stance instead of pushing myself to participate more and paying attention so I can provide some feedback and deal with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the more I go into this pattern, the less I am able to see reality, because what I am doing when ‘I believe what I want to believe’ is that I am thinking instead of seeing - and thinking is only mind programming, which is a biased version of reality that inhibits me from being objective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do unto others as I would have them done unto me, because when I share myself, I like to be paid attention and hearing/reading some feedbacks, which is something that I am unable to do when going into my mind, because I am more distracted in building energy through imaginations while people are speaking, instead of paying attention to what is going on here in physical reality.

Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself getting distracted because I go into my mind and build energy for imaginations based on problems I am facing, I stop and breathe. I realize that in doing that, I am only existing in a mind reality instead of being here, which leads into me not paying attention to what’s going on in my world, for instance, people sharing interesting insights and wanting some feedback from me, which is unacceptable, because in doing that I am not living the principle of give as you would like to receive.

I commit myself to explore and re-define the word Presence in order to find and apply solutions for the next time I see myself facing a similar situation, because I have realized that in such moments I don’t know who I am and I am only defined by the mind.

When and as I see myself going into positive energy when facing problems that create negative emotions within myself, I stop and breathe. I realize that in doing so, I am only believing that I am fine and that everything will be fixed, instead of me directing myself and creating solutions that are real, concrete and practical. 

I commit myself to stop myself and breathe once I am going into the other side of the polarity equation, in order for me to sound self-forgiveness and take note on the points that I would like to explore through self-writing and thus, find a real solution to my problems.


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Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

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The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

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At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

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Today I woke up with this feeling of loss, like I ‘had’ something that I was somehow losing. I realized that it’s energy. It’s the positive energy that I have been unconsciously creating within myself by spending time with X.

The way this came up was as fear; fear of losing, but more specifically, fear of not being ‘loved’ or that everything that X could possibly develop as energy towards myself was decaying. So, in the back of my mind, there was this idea that in order for me to be 'loved'/'liked', I required some energy.
I have realized that this emotional shifts happen when I believe in my thoughts when I am alone or when I judge what X shares with me. These shifts happen very fast and I realize that I activate the pattern but I become aware of it once already being in the emotional reaction.
When this happens, I tend to go “This is not gonna work. They are not feeling the same. They are faking it. This is only a game”, when actually the one that is participating in …