sábado, 1 de abril de 2017

Part II: Stuck in Emotional Energy [Day 166]


This is a continuation from my previous post. I was reading it earlier and also listened to an interview on Eqafe called ‘When stopping thoughts is not enough’, which pretty much describes how I have been experiencing myself, where the self-forgiveness statements I have written down and even sounded became repetitive and more as a response to the mind state I was experiencing than a real solution.

I mentioned in my previous post that I was having problems with identifying the energies involved and it was because I was stopping my thoughts on the surface level only, but not going beyond; meaning, exploring my subconscious mind by identifying/naming the energies.

I also noticed that I was not able to identify the emotional energy, because I was busy following thoughts that then lead into imaginations, therefore my mind was creating imaginations through me following thoughts, while forgetting about my physical body, but only feeling trapped in the energy that was possessing me so to speak.

This also led me into not being able to communicate effectively when having the chance to talk, because in such moments where I am reacting within myself, there are people around me that know me very well and they notice when I am shifted into my mind because they observe my unconscious mind through my behavior/facial gestures. 

So, again; if I am not clear within myself and I am busy creating energy through imaginations, I won’t be able to communicate effectively, that’s why my response in such cases is avoidance, which is not something ‘bad’, per se, because if I am not ready to speak, not speaking is an option, but the problem is when it becomes a pattern where I end up not even communicating with myself and trying to avoid communication because apparently ‘I am not ready’, which is an excuse, because I am not pushing myself to explore and define the energy within myself. 

So, I have been applying something that was mentioned in the interview which is focusing on the energy instead of the thoughts, which is the opposite that I was doing, because I was kind of playing ping pong with my conscious mind, but the origin of the mind state I was experiencing is in my subconscious mind.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted with my thoughts by following them and then going into imaginations, where I forgot how my physical body was being influenced by the energy that I was creating through imaginations created by my own thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used self-forgiveness as a response to my thoughts instead of really going deeper in exploring what exists in my subconscious mind by focusing on the energy I am experiencing first and foremost and thus, find practical solutions where I can express myself instead of participating in programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so overwhelmed by the emotional energy that I thought that I was not able to name it and as a consequence, not able to ‘get out’ of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am weaker than energy when I am not able to name the exact emotion that it is possessing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped in the belief that I myself created where I think that it’s not possible for me to move on if I am not able to deal with the emotional energy, but instead of focusing on the energy, I was busy entertaining my mind by thinking thoughts. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created pages and pages of self-forgiveness where there’s no commitments in relation to what I am going to start living so as to change myself in relation to stopping the patterns that keep me trapped, because I was only using self-forgiveness as a response to my thoughts, instead of addressing the energy involved.

Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself feeling trapped by emotional energy, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am trapped because I am following thoughts that then lead into imagination, that’s why I forget about my physical body and only feel it possessed by energy.

I commit myself to placing my focus on the energy I am experiencing when I go into emotions, instead of following thoughts.

When and as I see myself blaming people for the way I feel, as though it was their fault that I am experiencing myself that way I do, I stop and breathe. I realize that blaming people for the way I feel is useless, because I am the one who is responsible for myself; meaning, all that I am experiencing as energy is my creation due to participating in my mind and getting lost in thoughts instead of really stopping myself in the moment and focusing on my body, so as to release the energy .

I commit myself to stop blaming people for the way I feel and instead, I commit myself to take full responsibility for my mind and the energy I built through following thoughts.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that I am weaker than the energy that I am creating, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am giving my power away to the mind by creating my own belief as self-limitation instead of supporting myself to move on and stop the pattern.

I commit myself to practice embracing the energy when I see myself experiencing intense emotions so I can focus on it, understand it, name it and thus, be able to release it and see more clearly and thus, align myself to the physical.

When and as I see myself reacting in anger and wanting to break stuff, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am experiencing those desires because anger gives me the illusion of being ‘empowered’, when actually real empowerment is constructive and not destructive, and instead of wanting to break stuff, I can choose to calm myself down and find a solution in self-honesty that is the best for me and the best for all.


I commit myself to breathe through the anger energy when I feel like breaking stuff so as to release it and then, I commit myself to ground myself here, move slower and with care so I can physically calm myself down instead of reacting. 

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