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Manipulation Through Smiling? [Day 173]


Today someone approached me at work and as I noticed that this person was like very energetic in their expression I tried not to be influenced by them, but making sure that I was paying attention to their words and also being honest in answering what they were asking.

This person was smiling a lot and moving their body as dancing while asking me to sign some papers and when I asked “Is that all?”, they said “You’re mean” kind of kidding while simultaneously smiling and acting nice.

I thought “Maybe they think that I am mean because they were not able to manipulate me with the influence of their expression, because I didn’t respond as energetically charged as they are”.

I can also see that before having this person approaching me, I was watching a live concert on my laptop and when this person approached me, another colleague said “Oh, they fucked your concert up”, as though the person approaching me was interrupting me.

Besides that, I noticed that I judged them while they were speaking, because I thought “Why don’t they go straight to the point and avoid explaining too much information that I do not even really care about?”.

I realize that I have a reaction towards females when they try to be nice with me and I do not understand where that niceness come from, because we don’t know each other, but at the same time I know that there’s not need to be friends or acquaintances to be nice with each other.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when females are nice through smiling a lot it’s because they are trying to manipulate me, that’s why I respond by thinking “Why too much? Go straight to the point, you do not need to convince me or influence me with your energy”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged females’ behavior as manipulative when they smile a lot when they are interacting with me, without realizing that I am resisting them because I fear to become vulnerable if they are to come closer through touching me or invading ‘my space’ and then not being able to get rid of them because then they will eventually continue interrupting me as it has happened a couple of times in the past.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be Flexible or Adaptable when I am being approached and I am doing ‘my stuff’, without realizing that ‘my stuff’ are still here and I can take a moment, pause it, and then continue without reacting emotionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I react to people smiling a lot, because even though I smile genuinely when I am in other contexts, I have resistance when having to smile for a photograph for instance, so there is a point in relation to smiling that I have to explore deeper.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that all females that are nice with me it’s because they want to know me more and then have me as a friend where they will then become too rude like calling at midnight drunk, interrupting me with their stuff and finding problems in letting them know that I don’t want that sort of relationship and that I don’t want them to call me or being too close to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged myself for not being able to smile genuinely when having females smiling a lot when they are talking to me, because I try to keep an image of me that I am distant, quick and simple where “Let’s talk only about or job, but avoid anything else related to our personal lives”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach myself to the belief of “I go to work to work, not to make friends, because I already have my friends, my real friends and I don’t need more”, without realizing that it is not necessary to attach myself to that limiting belief, as it is not necessary neither to have a positive expectation in relation to making new friends at work, but to be open, flexible and adaptable by making sure I am stable and not reacting when having people approaching me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought “I bet this person thinks that I am handsome and she wants to become closer because she wants to know me and making me trust in her though smiling a lot, so she can seduce me”, without realizing that there are people that smile more, there are people that are genuinely nice and that doesn’t mean that they want to ‘take advantage’ of me or seduce me lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this person as “I don’t like them, they not my type. I don’t like their face, I don’t like their hair, I wouldn’t be with her in anyway”, without realizing that one of the reasons I am resisting this person is because I do not feel physically attracted to them, because when they are aligned with my preferences; meaning, they are ‘hot’ so to speak, my expression is different, meaning that they are not bothering me or interrupting me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been too superficial by judging females’ physical appearance and letting it influence the way I communicate with them, because if I do not like them and they smile, they are manipulating me, whereas if they are ‘hot’, I am more open to listen to them and share more. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hermetic and not dare to go beyond in getting to know someone that I have defined as ‘not hot’ or ‘too nice’, because the idea is the following: If you are ugly and nice, I don’t care, but if you are beautiful/hot and nice = it’s perfect - and it will continue being perfect even if the equation goes Hot+mean, because I am giving more importance to the superficial dimension and thus, limiting myself to be able to see deeper.

Self-Corrective & Self-Corrective Statements


When and as I see myself judging a female because she smiles a lot when she communicates with me, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am judging her because first of all, I have defined within my mind that I don’t like them physically and I interpret that their smiles are an attempt that the ugly females use to get what they want, which is my own self-created judgement, that limits me from seeing beyond and learning from them.

I commit myself to stop judging people for the way they look and for the way they express themselves with me.

I commit myself to be open and willing to learn from those that I have judged on a surface level.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that females that smile a lot when they communicate with me are doing it because they want to manipulate me, I stop and breathe. I realize that there are different types of expressions in people and being more expressive or energetic is one of them - and that does not necessarily mean that they want to take advantage of me, because I see, realize and understand that the world is not only spinning around me, meaning; I am not the center of the world.

I commit myself to become more humble in relation to listening to and being open and flexible with people that approach me without judging them for the way they look or of the way they express themselves through smiles, jokes and touch.

When and as I see myself attaching myself to the belief of “I go to work to work, not to make friends, because I already have my friends, my real friends and I don’t need more”, I stop and breathe. I realize that this very idea/belief limits me from being open and adaptable to share myself in front of other people, because I am beforehand becoming hermetic.

I commit myself to stop attaching myself to ideas and belief that limit the chances of me getting to know other people and adapt myself to the current moment I am living where I can make the choice of who and how I want to be.

When and as I see myself attaching to the backchat of “I don’t like them, they not my type. I don’t like their face, I don’t like their hair, I wouldn’t be with her in anyway”, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am previously making a sort of category or list as though I was looking for a candidate to be with me, when I am already in an agreement, therefore, I am not approaching people where the starting point is mutual understanding and support, but whether I like them or not. Plus, I wouldn’t like to be judged in the same way I do.

I commit myself to stop pre-disposing myself to apply a mental list where I evaluate whether I like a female or not based on their physical appearance when I am talking with them.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that females smiling at me when they are talking happens because they thinking I am handsome and that they are using their smiles as a technique to gain my trust and choice to be with them, I stop and breathe. I realize that it is me the one who is projecting the judgment towards them and reflecting it back to myself, because it is me the one who judged them based on their physical appearance, but that does not mean that they are doing the same with me, because it exists the chance or possibility that they are always smiling and nice as a part of their natural and genuine expression, but I am not being able to see that due to all the mind filters I am putting in between us both that inhibit me from really getting to know who they are.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that I am handsome and that females want to manipulate me through their smiles.

I commit myself to stop labeling myself with a positive adjective, because who I am is not a picture presentation, but expression.

I commit myself to stop labeling people as beautiful and ugly, because that limits the chances I have to get to know other people where there could exist support for both without having to be ‘friends’ or ‘real friends’, but acting out common sense in the moment

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