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Part II: Skeletons in The Closet [Day 168]

Here I am continuing with my previous post...

When and as I see myself changing my behavior in front of the person that lied to me when the memory of what they did activates within my mind, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am changing my behavior in a way to show that something happened, that the other person has ‘lost’ a part of me, for instance affection, in order to punish them emotionally to make them say or do something that I need to believe so I can create and keep Trust only as an illusion.

I commit myself to stand one and equal with the people that lied to me without judging them, but supporting them as I have supported myself within the same patterns that are still part of me.

I commit myself to express through words the way I see the consequences once they have taken place, without trying to manipulate using a switch in my behavior in order for them to ‘guess’ that something is happening within myself.

When and as I see myself experiencing disgust/revulsion towards someone that ‘did something to me’, I stop and breathe. I realize that the disgust/revulsion is because of the moral perspective in relation to what the other person did, therefore, I am creating it, because it exists within myself and it is emerging in situations that I have defined as ‘the worst’.

I commit myself to remove the moral label I have placed upon the actions ‘liars’ do for me to be able to see objectively without making things personal so as to avoid extra conflict/friction in looking for a solution.

When and as I see myself fearing to face the consequences because I fear that I will be punished if I dare to speak the truth, I stop and breathe. I realize that if I remove the idea of being punished and just address the situation towards what’s best for me and for all, the polarized illusion of Truth/Lies, the focus will be the solution.

I commit myself to find solutions to my issues by removing the polarity Truth/lies that limits my seeing.

I commit myself to let go of the definitions I have used for myself when being whether in the truth side or the lies side, because that limits myself.


Entradas populares de este blog

Getting Angry with Students (Day 30)

Within my job as a teacher I can remember a few moments in which I took things personal, but they happened during my first year. Now, I am on my third year as a teacher and it's hard for me to get angry with students, because I prefer to address the issue through communication and agreements.
Today, I got angry with a student and I didn't even realize it until another student that was next to me said "teacher, don't get angry".
The scenario went as it follows:
Students were presenting oral reports. Before they start, I take the time to tell the class that they have to be quiet while their classmates are performing, because I have to assess them and if there's too much noise, I can't hear very well.
It was hard to me to keep them completely quiet today - teachers know that not all lessons with the same class work the same due to different factors -. So, I had to constantly stop and say "guys, be quiet. Your classmates are performing". That happened d…

When You See Only What You Want To See (Day 162)

Someone made an observation about me after communicating with them a couple of times. They noticed that I tend to see only what I want to see; meaning, that I understand things in the wrong way.

At first I was within myself like “But, how can that be possible if I try to be objective when I observe or listen to the information being shared?”, until today while watching a video and then, when giving it a second watch, I realized that “Hey, the first time I watched the video I understood something completely different to what I am understanding now”.
So, I asked myself “Why did that happen?” and in self-honesty I can say that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. I was watching the video, but at the same time having a chat and also concerned about a problem I had. 
It’s like for moments I am paying attention, but then I go into my mind. Then, I get back to my body/awareness and I listen to the information and ‘understand what I want to understand’ or what it’s related to what I was t…

Mr. Nice [Day 174]

I read a conversation between two people where they were talking about me. Person A was sharing a ‘problem’ that had had with me, while Person B was judged by me as Mr. Nice, because they were not supporting Person A, but adding more to the problem. What I mean by ‘adding more’ = no practical support, but continue talking about the same thing, without a solution, but only supporting Person A’s words without questioning them.

What I didn’t like was that for instance Person A was saying stuff like “He said/did this and that, fuck him”, while Person B went “Yes, that’s too bad,he is wrong, I understand what you are going through. Fuck him”, without even knowing me in person, without even talking to me once at least. So, I went within myself “This person thinks they know me? Plus, Person A’s arguments were an interpretation of the events, so Person B was basically reacting to Person A’s reaction. That’s why I say it was not supportive, but reactive.
Why did I judge Person B as ‘Mr. Nice’? …