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Stressed Out Within Communication? [Day 170]

Lately I have noticed that when I communicate with people orally or written, especially when they ask questions or when I have to explain something, that I go in-a-rush mode. I try to speak/write/type really fast in order to answer or explain as quick as possible. The problem is that the message I share in such moments ends up being not clear and as a consequence, I have to repeat myself, which leads me to even taking longer in explaining and answering lol.

I can also see the backchat within myself that goes “Why are they asking too much questions? Leave me alone. Stop asking, because I don’t want to answer/explain now”.

Another problem that I am able to identify is that - due to wanting to speak quick - I do not explain myself well and I take for granted that they have a similar understanding in specific topics, so I skip certain information that if I was to mention it, the message would be much clearer for the other person to be grasped.

So, as a consequence, I am not speaking clearly; I make mistakes in my speech, I am communicating as a reaction that belongs to a personality system, I am not supporting myself nor the other individuals and I am creating the complete opposite of what I want, which is doing it quick and simple, because I am taking longer and complicating things for myself and others as well.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in communicating quick in-a-rush mode out of a personality system, I am going to make things easier for all the participants within communication, without seeing, realizing and understanding that I am creating quite the oposite, because I become stressed out, the message I share is not clear, the other person does not understand my point very well, and I take even longer, because I have to repeat myself, which is not an effective communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with the backchat “Why are they asking too much questions? Leave me alone. Stop asking, because I don’t want to answer/explain now”, without seeing, realizing and understanding that that very backchat activates the whole personality system where I, instead of communicating out of common sense, I speak out of an emotional reaction, which leads to ineffective communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that THEY are bothering me when they ask questions, because I think that I am so fine in ‘my moment’ until they come with their questions and ‘interrupt’ and take me out of my comfortability, that I do not realize that in doing that, I am not being flexible nor adaptable, and it is the evidence that I am existing in my own bubble, where I do not want anyone to ‘take me out of it’.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that THEY are making me react in-a-rush mode, without realizing that I myself am creating this from within myself and that yes, they may push my buttons, but it’s my responsibility and choice to whether activate the personality system or calming myself down through first breathing in, breathing out, become silent within myself and then communicate effectively.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how I influence others by communicating out of an emotional reaction, because I have noticed that they also become stressed out as they mirror my behavior and then, they acquire the same reactive type of response as a virus that spreads and affects everyone.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how important are the words that I share out there, because in communicating out an emotional reactive type of personality program, I am not taking responsibility for the words I speak, where I am literally fucking up a moment of understanding and realization within other people’s lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have forgotten about the breathing application in moments where I can support myself to express myself as the best version of me, because lately I have re-programmed myself to react emotionally within communication and made it so natural, instead of realizing that I can stop that re-programming and change myself in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that every moment is important, not only when I am comfortable in the silence of my own bubble, but also when people approach me when they need support through asking questions that I have judged as a bother and interruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become selfish, because I prefer staying ‘silent’ and ‘peaceful’ in my own bubble, instead of standing up one with and equal to everyone else by bursting it and see how reality functions and how it can be transformed into that which is best for all by simply being open, patient, adaptable and flexible within my communication with others in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that being silent within myself is about not communicating with others, without realizing that in doing that, the example I am providing is of someone hermetic and stressed out that acts out of self-interest who does not give a shit about others.

Self-Corrective & Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself becoming in-a-rush mode when people ask questions because I think and believe that they are bothering me and as a result I communicate quick and confusing out of an emotional reactive type of personality system where I want them to stop bothering me and interrupting me, I stop and breathe. I realize that in doing this, I am not supporting myself nor everyone else, and I am fucking up a possible moment of self-realization on others that can be of much importance within their lives.

When and as I see myself becoming stressed out within communication when I perceive myself as being interrupted by others, and that THEY are making me react in-a-rush mode, I stop and breathe. I realize that I wouldn’t like to be seen as a bother when I have questions or doubts, because when I ask questions it’s because I need support and guidance within a specific point, plus, the emotional response is my own creation and responsibility and it has nothing to do with THEM and if I dare to blame them for my reaction, I would be going into self-victimization, justifying my own self-manipulation in order to remain enslaved to the personality program instead of standing up in self-honesty and changing myself to the best version I can be.

I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that people are bothering me when they ask me questions or when they want me to explain something.

I commit myself to embrace every person as I would like to be embraced when having questions or doubts in relation to any specific points.

I commit myself to breathe in and breathe out before communication when I notice that the personality system wants to activate and then, express myself once I am silent within myself in relation to others in my world.

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