It’s been a while since the last time I wrote a blog. I have been having ideas about what to write, but they have only ended up as such; only ideas in my mind. So, here I would like to stop thinking about writing and start writing about this point in order to address it.
I have been identifying fear of not being able to write something ‘interesting’ or that it can somehow represent how I have been working on myself, plus comparing myself with others that I see expanding themselves while judging myself as ‘stuck’ and not working towards developing my utmost potential.
So, I am going to write down some Self-Forgiveness statements about this experience within myself, because it does not support me really.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fear of not being able to write an 'interesting post', without realizing that my process is not about being interesting, but self-honest instead.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped within and as the thought “I would like to continue writing, but I don’t know what to write about”, where I give my power away to that thought, without realizing that in such moments I am accepting and allowing myself to be less than a thought in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped within and as the thought “I would like to write about this and that” charging it positively and then, as I don’t feel positively charged, I do not write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the inferior side of the polarity equation - which is inferiority - by thinking “everybody’s expanding themselves and I am still stuck in here”, without realizing that in thinking that, I am seeing myself from pity, without realizing that I am not an emotion of pity, and I am not my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone into the experience of hopelessness by thinking “It’s too late for me to continue moving on”, without realizing that in participating in that thought, I am only wasting my time thinking, instead of breaking the pattern by doing something concrete and practical about it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become dependent on feeling good to write a blog, without realizing that writing as self-support should be unconditional, without having to depend on unstable energetic charges that in the end determine a limited version of who I am, instead of ME giving myself the opportunity to establish for myself who I am as writing as a decision and commitment to support and expand myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that ‘I can’t commit myself to change for real’, without seeing, realizing and understanding that all that is in the middle as an obstacle is my own mind where I resist what I think and perceive, when it’s actually all a self-created illusion that I am using to sabotage myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone into the experience of ‘It’s too much’ as though everything is a bother for me where I resist not only writing, but other duties in general as well, as though they were something ‘imposed’ to me that somehow inhibit me from being ‘free’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have approached my reality circumstances as a ‘bother’, when actually it’s me the one who is perceiving it as such; I am participating in such thoughts and I am the one who responds by behaving in a certain way to what I judge as a bother, which is isolating myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone into isolating myself through believing that in doing that, I am not going to be ‘bothered’ by the circumstances of my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created my own bothered character where I become apathetic and I want no contact with anyone, not even with myself, without realizing that the moments I have with myself and others could be of much support if I approached my reality from a different perspective.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have remained in a limited perspective towards my reality, without realizing that a stuck perspective needs to mutate into something that allows me to really see reality without energetic veils in between that leads me to feeling and behaving in a certain way towards my reality through the way my emotions and feelings activate/determine it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced resistance towards finishing this post, because of the experience of “this is too much”, because I think and believe that I have to continue writing too much, when actually in thinking that, I am losing the point of writing, because this is not about doing it fast, it’s about giving myself the time to introspect and investigate myself, therefore, in thinking that ‘It’s too much’ I show how little I care about my process.
Self-Corrective & Self-Commitment Statements
When and as I see myself thinking that I won't be able to write an 'interesting post', I stop and breathe. I realize that in wanting to be 'interesting', I am looking for the approval of others, instead of realizing that it's MY process and I have to walk it as such in self-honesty.
I commit myself to stop looking for an 'interesting topic' to write on my blog, because basically all points are interesting from a certain perspective, therefore, I commit myself to not pre-judge a blog that I haven't even written physically and instead, give it a try so I can make the process of investigating the point interesting for myself.
When and as I see myself thinking that 'I don’t know what to write about' and I get trapped in that thought with no practical movement, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that I am wasting my time by thinking, creating beliefs and limited perceptions of myself towards my reality.
I commit myself to stop wasting my time in my mind by thinking about what to write about and instead, just push myself to do it anyways, because I have to give myself the chance to go beyond my own thoughts and be in touch with reality from a physical perspective.
When and as I see myself wanting a positive experience through writing, I stop and breathe. I realize that the aim of this blog is to deprogram myself from energetic charges that create beliefs and behaviors that limit myself from expanding myself to develop my utmost potential in my reality.
I commit myself to stop depending on positive energy to be able to write a post on my blog and instead, I commit myself to push myself to writing in the absence of energy, because that’s what I want to transcend.
When and as I see myself judging myself as inferior through comparing myself with others, I stop and breathe. I realize that instead of comparing myself with others, I can learn from others, learn how to push self to become better everyday by simply being persistent and more dedicated to self.
I commit myself to stop comparing myself with others because they write more than me, and instead, I commit myself to learn from them; through their example.
When and as I see myself thinking that I am not able to commit myself, I stop and breathe. I realize that in thinking that, I am not supporting myself, because I remain stuck in that thought/belief instead of realizing that I can prove in physical reality that I can commit myself, because a commitment is an action and not a thought or a belief, therefore I can test it for myself and enhance it.
I commit myself to stop believing that I am not able to commit myself and instead, I commit myself to prove myself that I can commit myself step by step, being realistic, being self-honest and pushing myself to become better everyday.
When and as I see myself perceiving my reality circumstances as ‘too much’ that it has become a constant bother that I resist within myself, I stop and breathe. I see, realize and understand that the only and real ‘too much’ is ‘too much of feeling like having too much’, because I am blaming my external world when actually the ‘too much’ experience is being created within myself by me participating in my thoughts.
I commit myself to stop and breathe when I am feeling like I am having too much in order to slowly but surely push myself to start moving myself by solving all the ‘challenges’ that I see in my reality from a more stable stance without having to continue feeding the inner conflict.
When and as I see myself activating my ‘bothered character’ when feeling like I am having too much from my external world, I stop and breathe. I realize that by participating in my bothered character, I end up isolating myself, because I don’t want to be bothered and I prefer to stay on my own, when actually by doing that, I am creating more and more inner conflict that I then project to my external world and I blame it, without taking self-responsibility.
I commit myself to stop isolating myself from myself by changing my perspective and testing new ways in which I can approach my reality in a way that I don’t have to experience inner conflict.
When and as I see myself wanting to finish a post that I am writing as soon as possible, I stop and breathe. I realize that it’s in that moment where I am looking for positive energy to keep me interested in what I am doing, instead of realizing that in applying and living self-writing I am caring about my process and caring about myself, because it’s a tool of support and not something ‘imposed’ - it’s all about me.
I commit myself to stop and breathe so as to ground myself when writing and feeling the rush of wanting to finish as soon as possible, so I can bring the focus back here; to the physical, instead of getting lost by following what my mind system dictates.