Re-Defining 'I Miss You' [Day 185]



'I miss you' - This is a phrase that I have used in the past in relation to feeling sad, empty, like you've ‘lost’ something or someone. Like a mixture between sadness and appreciation at the same time, linked with memories, smells, music, etc. 

When looking back, the first times in my life where I can identify the emptiness when missing someone was when I was a kid and my cousins would visit me for the weekend and then left. It was like I couldn’t immediately adapt to reality, although it was a process, because I first felt that I missed them and then slowly but surely embracing the moment when being back to school or seeing my friends, basically living my usual life routines.

Since I moved to a different city to live on my own, this experience has emerged from within myself a couple of times. Not as much as when I was younger and it’s because I have been seeing the phrase ‘I miss you’ beyond a feeling or emotion. I realized that when memories come to your mind or let’s say, when memories are triggered, the ‘I miss you’ experience activates. In my case through songs, smells or when something I have lived in the past happens again in my present that reminds me of that past moment. 

The I miss you experience can be addictive too, because it’s easy to remain there, create more and more thoughts, imaginations, etc where you can even end up in a break down because the emptiness takes you over as an endless cycle every time you think about it or when integrating through your senses specific elements that remind you of that person in a particular way.

What I have been testing out is - instead of going into the emotional experience of missing something/someone - is to see what are the things that I have learned from those people/moments and bring it back to the physical as actions. For example if I miss my parents or friends, I bring forth the words that represent their expression. For instance, tidy, considerate, gentle, supportive, disciplined, structured, efficient, clean, rigorous, etc.

So, instead of going into the emotional experience of missing something/someone and just get trapped in memories and sadness, I’d rather do something about it by honoring the words as expression that I have learned/seen within and without those people. So, it’s like you bring back to life/here the person and both expressions are kind of connected as One. 

If I miss a friend who is a musician, then I can make/play some music and become persistent or disciplined. If I miss my dad, I can become organized as he is, if I miss my mom, I can become considerate, etc. 

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empty within myself when someone that used to be around me is not here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am powerless when not being with the people that I miss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I won’t be able to stand on my own feet if the people I miss are not next to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to really think and believe that a part of me has gone when the people I miss are not next to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in the I miss you experience by activating memories and thoughts that only create energy and thus, I get distracted and lose touch with my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - while being in the I miss you experience - compare my present to the past and end up thinking “the past was better than now”, without seeing, realizing and understanding that that’s denial of what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the way I feel is an acceptable excuse to sabotage myself by avoiding my reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe ‘how much you love someone is equivalent to how much you miss them’, without seeing, realizing and understanding that that’s only an energetic experience that is showing me fragmented parts of myself that I have to deconstruct and re-define to be lived as One. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish to be missed by people, so that when they see me again, they appreciate me more, without seeing, realizing and understanding that that’s selfish and only based on self-interest, because I want to feel good while people feel bad under the I miss you experience. 

Self-Corrective & Self-Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself feeling empty within myself when someone that used to be around me is not here, I stop and breathe. I realize that if I am feeling empty it’s because  
I was using that person to kind of give me a sense of confidence, because I could trust in their expression, leaving all responsibility on them, without realizing that I could also do it to eventually become it on my own through walking through it - and in doing that, honor those people’s expressions by being disciplined within following their steps.

I commit myself to test the word ‘Discipline’ as my expression when it comes to missing someone, where I can follow the steps of those that I miss, so we can become One and Equal in our same expression.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that I am powerless when not being with the people I miss, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am feeling like that because I am accepting and allowing it, it’s because I am not trying a different approach but only limiting myself by thinking and believing that.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when feeling empty when missing someone, so I can bring myself back here and embrace the potential I have got and remind myself that I can do it on my own. 

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that I won’t be able to stand on my own feet if the people I miss are not next to me, I stop and breathe. I realize that that’s an irrational thought, because it’s true, people have supported me throughout my life, but it has always been me the one who decides to move forward, therefore, I have proven that I can stand on my own feet if I decide to live it unconditionally. 

I commit myself to embrace the fact that I can stand on my own feet through my potential and living it as a solution  when I go into the mind state that dictates that I am powerless.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that a part of me has gone when the people I miss are not next to me, I stop and breathe. I realize that somehow I was defining myself through ‘using’ those people’s expressions that made me feel safe, sure, secure, empowered, loved, etc. therefore, I fragmented myself - yes, parts of me had gone BUT while being with those people, because I was avoiding taking self-responsibility with regards to picking up all those pieces of me as separated words and put them together as my expression and live them as me while walking with the people I will miss later. 

I commit myself to immediately ask myself "what is it that I am missing from this person’s expression" in order to focus on the words that describe those people’s expression and start exploring them by myself but following their example.

I commit myself to understand that ‘A part of me has gone’ means that I have to put back all those pieces where I fragmented myself and then instead, re-construct myself as ‘That part of me that can be (g)ONE as my expression and we can Go as One'.

When and as I see myself getting trapped in the I miss you experience by activating memories and thoughts that only create energy and I get distracted and lose touch with my reality, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am moving towards self-pity, where I try to feel good by remembering moments from my past instead of focusing on living in the present.

I commit myself to focus on my breathing and body stance so as to get myself back to my present moment here when I am getting distracted and losing touch with my reality, so I can become more efficient by stopping the energetic experience and Live as self-awareness instead of perpetuating mind programming that is not constructive/supportive practically.

When and as I see myself comparing my present to the past and end up thinking “the past was better than now”, I stop and breathe. I realize that the statement is made by me when being possessed by the emotional experience and I am placing my past as positive and my present as negative, without realizing that the only thing I have got is what is here in my current moment, therefore, the ‘best’ can be created here and now, not yesterday. And if it was better yesterday, then I can investigate what made it better to start applying what I applied in the past but this time on my present, just testing things out to find and use what is best for me and for all. 

I commit myself to use comparison between past and present only to identify methods and techniques that worked in the past that I can start using again to overcome current friction points in my life. 

I commit myself to embrace the present as the only opportunity I have to create what’s best step by step by realizing that every new breath is a new opportunity to sit in the driver’s seat and direct my life to the best outcome.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that the way I feel when I miss something or someone is an acceptable excuse to sabotage myself by avoiding my reality, I stop and breathe. I realize that by creating that thought I am trapping myself, like locking down myself behind a belief that inhibits me from standing up and walking on my own feet.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind the I miss you experience and only use it as a way to expand myself in relation to the missing parts that I have to re-construct that I am able to identify when missing something/someone.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing ‘how much you love someone is equivalent to how much you miss them’, I stop and breathe. I realize that yes, it works as such as a system, but it is still an energy-based experience, therefore, if you believe it so, it’s because first of all, you have defined love as an energetic experience that moves through polarity; ups and downs without a clear and supportive direction, but only responding to how you feel; conditioned by the mind instead of directing in self-responsibility and self honesty as self-awareness as an expression that is here no matter how you feel.

I commit myself to embrace the fact that love is an expression, not a feeling and thus, to start working from there so as to create more supportive relationships; supportive for oneself and for others as well.

I commit myself to put back together all the parts that constitute who I am that I have separated from myself when missing something/someone so our expression can become One and Equal.

When and as I see myself wishing to be missed by people, so that when they see me again, they appreciate me more, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am looking for the positive experience, I am acting out of self-interest, because in self-honesty, I don’t need people to feel something about me, I would honestly prefer people following my example, but not because it is something that is ‘mine’, it should be because it is supportive for all. 

I commit myself to stop looking for the positive experience when wanting to be missed by people and instead, I commit myself to focus on identifying that which I am separating myself from so as to bring it here by my actions when ‘needing’ the positive experience.

I commit myself to investigate through self-writing what is that which I am lacking that I want to be ‘fulfilled’ by being missed.

Comentarios