Rectitude [Day 238]




Yesterday I said happy birthday to a friend and he said he was grateful for my friendship and for my 'rectitude'/‘straightness’ within who I am. 

This surprised me, because I wasn’t expecting those words. I didn’t know the way he ‘sees me’ and within myself I went “Really? Is that how I am?” Lol.


So I wanted to explore the word straightness /rectitude to expand my awareness in relation to it so I can do some inner work through forgiving and re-defining, to eventually live unconditionally. 


The definition I found says: straightness / rectitude is an attribute, a way of living and being. It’s a sign of self-coherence; it’s the firmness in character and awareness disposition. This term refers to the integrity and honesty existing in a person. When someone shows straightness / rectitude in their behavior, it’s because each action they do is made out of honesty and lots of education.


Self-Forgiveness


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the word straightness does not define me, because I am apparently less than that word.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go within myself “Am I that cool?”, without realizing that in that moment, through my thoughts and beliefs I am diminishing myself by judging myself as less than. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that straightness / rectitude does not define me because I think that straightness has too many ‘positive’ definitions that ‘I don’t own’, without seeing, realizing and understanding that I am also equal to the ‘cool things / definitions' of this world. 


I forgive myself that I have Not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I diminish myself through thoughts, when actually if I stopped judging myself, I would be able to see all the ‘good things’ that exist within myself that I am not aware of or that I am not able to see yet, despite they exist within myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more emphasis on the bad aspects of things, only because I fear using the ‘positive’ as a shelf and thus end up in a mind fuck, without seeing, realizing and understanding that no positive and no negative does not mean that I cannot become the living words that are the best for me and best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “If I don’t know all the definitions I am living, it’s because people around me haven’t given me that feedback yet, so I can’t become aware of it”, without realizing that I am not only what other people ‘see’ in me, and I might even be 'more than' what people are able to see and say about me. 


I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see all of who, what and why I am.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I make a mistake then I lose all the ‘positive definitions’ I have developed / acquired within myself, without seeing, realizing and understanding that that’s why I am walking a process where I am accumulating integrity, self-will, self-honesty, discipline, etc, so therefore, even if I fail, I AM NOT GIVING UP.


Self-Commitment


I commit myself to stop only focusing on the ‘negative’ side of myself.


I commit myself to embrace all the ‘positive’ that I can see / find without fearing to end up in a mind trap of self-sabotage.


I commit myself to stop refusing to accept ‘positive words’ when people tell them to me. And I commit myself to explore such words when people mention them in relation to who I am. 


I commit myself to embrace more ‘positive words’ without having to wait on people to come and tell them to me first to be able to really see who I am.


I commit myself to stop judging myself as less than specific words that people relate to me.


I commit myself to re-define and live the word straightness /rectitude as a manifestation of the process that I am walking where I can daily live words such as firmness, self-honesty, and self-coherence as the result of what I am changing from within myself. 

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